From time to time I like to ask ‘real people’ what they experience when go to the doctor’s. Often I can’t get honest answers from my own patients. In general, patients want to be liked so their doctor will like them. That sometimes means they don’t convey problems or complaints or side effects to their usual doctor.
So, questions I would like to ask you:
How important is it for you to have a doctor who is
A- Your gender
B-Your sexual orientation
C-Your age bracket
and
D-Do you feel comfortable seeing a physician’s assistant or nurse practioner rather than the doctor?
27 comments
Comments feed for this article
March 14, 2007 at 5:45 AM
Joshua
Well that’s a lot harder to answer than you think! LOL
Regardless of the type of problem (unless it’s psychiatric – then it would be male to all 3 categories); I don’t care about gender, age, or orientation. As far as a doc as opposed to M.A. or nurse, doesn’t matter too much to me. Competency and patient care dedication is more important to me. However, if I’m in need of a specialist, then it best be a doc. Did I confuse you LOL
March 14, 2007 at 5:47 AM
Joshua
OOOPs I meant to say in the case of a psychiatric problem I would want someone who was male, my orientation, and age would be the least important.
March 14, 2007 at 10:04 AM
Lemuel
My major concern is competence. Baring that concern, yes, I feel more comfortable with a male doctor. But in the practice to which we go, I actually like the one PA better, I have had the female attend to me (and she was good).
The orientation concern does not hit too hard, although I admit to considering trying to find a gay or gay-friendly physician.
March 14, 2007 at 10:04 AM
foxystone
i prefer to have a doctor of my gender. Age does not matter, but more importantly is the sexual orientation, or at least attitude. I have found it is hard to discuss things such as STDs or male problems with a doctor who has religous misgivings about my sexuality
March 14, 2007 at 10:17 AM
Steve
For A, B & C, I really have no preference. D, however – no offense to the NP – if I’m paying for a ‘doctor visit’ I want to see the doctor.
March 14, 2007 at 11:06 AM
Joel
I don’t mind age. gender or sexual orientation. It’s how I feel with the person. I like when they can talk to me on a personal level and not just a medical level.
I had two bad experiences, one didn’t like gays, and the other was mad at me for smoking. As if it was something fun that I could just give up like that.
The best doctor I had was a woman and I felt more like meeting a friend for coffee then my doctor. She always had the answers and never looked down on me.
I do have reservations towards Vietnamese doctors as they tend not to talk.
As for the assistants, I like them. They seem to like their job and don’t have a big head.
March 14, 2007 at 11:43 AM
Doug
I feel more comfortable with a male doctor. The age part isn’t much of an issue with me, and I don’t have much problem with occasionally seeing the NP instead of the doc. I don’t require that the doctor be gay, but he’s got to be OK with it. A couple of years back, I had a urological problem. The specialist that I saw asked if I was married and I said that I’m in a long-term same-sex relationship. The chill in the atmosphere was quite noticeable, and he was very brusque with me after that. I requested (and got) a different specialist.
March 14, 2007 at 2:01 PM
Brent
Recently I had to go to my doctor’s office to get a tested for STD’s. I saw the nurse practitioner (I’ve never seen an actual doctor there) and it was very uncomfortable, she’s a woman and possibly not gay. So yes I would like to see someone my gender, my sexual orientation and occationally I’d like to see the doctor (although anyone can run a strep test or perscribe and antihistomine. I’m not hung up on age. It wouldn’t hurt if he was cute too.
Urspo – ohoh one of these flirty type patients!
March 14, 2007 at 2:28 PM
Maddog
I prefer gay male doctors if I get a choice. It’s nothing personal but I find it’s easier to talk about issues that effect gay men. As for age, I’ve never thought about that one before, but I don’t think it would be a big issue.
I don’t mind seeing a PA but as someone else mentioned, if you are paying for a doctor’s visit then seeing the doctor ought to be included.
March 14, 2007 at 3:03 PM
bid
A-It would be nice.
B-Never thought about it
C-No thank you.
D-Depends on the illness.
March 14, 2007 at 4:18 PM
Robert
A – Doesn’t matter to me.
B – Doesn’t matter. However, I would very much like for them to have an open mind.
C – The older the better. Age = experience.
D – I’d rather see the REAL doctor than deal with the “middle man.”
March 14, 2007 at 4:30 PM
tigeryogi
A- I’ve never had a female doctor, so I’m not sure if it would make a difference.
B- It doesn’t matter.
C- So far, they’ve always been my age or older, so I haven’t had to deal with any damn young whipper-snappers!
D- Knock on wood, I don’t think that I’ve ever seen either. Always the doctor or his nurse!
March 14, 2007 at 6:48 PM
Bigg
I haven’t gotten to see my own doctor more than about once in three years — it’s always the PA. I guess I don’t mind… but it makes me feel like my doctor doesn’t consider me a priority. He’s my own gender, and that’s good… but he definitely doesn’t share my orientation, and it’s problematic. How can I discuss… you know, CERTAIN ISSUES that will come up?
March 14, 2007 at 6:54 PM
Doug
For physical examinations, I prefer my own gender, but don’t balk if he turns out to be a she. I’ve had a couple dermatological exams by women.
Age and sexual orientation aren’t much of an issue for me. When looking for a doctor, I’ve never asked about either.
For psychological issues, I have had both male and female doctors, and been happy and unhappy with both depending purely on the person, not their sex, age, or sexual orientation.
Regarding assistants vs. doctors, I prefer more education, especially for psychological issues. I’ve had excellent psychotherapists who were PhD’s, and had not-so-good experiences with lesser-educated therapists. I’ve had good experiences with nurses for other issues, though, so I’m not hung up about it.
My ideal doctor for any problem: thirty-something, single, fit, gay, male, well-educated, good bedside manner, and interested in bending the doctor/patient relationship rules.
Urspo – another one who has watched too many porn fanstasy flicks!
March 14, 2007 at 8:30 PM
Daniel
A,B, and C- All preferred, but not necessary. For me, the most important thing is that he know his craft, and that he be accepting and supporting of me as a person. I Have to feel that there is a human rapport with the one that I am trusting for my health needs. If I don’t have that, I just won’t be back. And if it’s for more than a brief interaction, I would feel far more comfortable with a male.
D-Same thing. But for some reason, I really want him to an attractive younger man. I guess if he’s not a full fledged Doc, he has to make up for it with sex appeal.
Urspo – I see a pattern here!
March 14, 2007 at 9:24 PM
Greg
A: Gender hasn’t bothered me yet.
B: I don’t think it’s necessary to have a gay doctor — it would be nice, but as long as the doctor doesn’t focus on my gayness or let it affect his/her ability to provide treatment, then I’m ok.
C: I don’t recall ever being treated by a doctor who was younger than me (or I). As long as I feel that I can trust the doctor, I don’t forsee any problems.
D: Not for regular treatment. For injections, blood drawing or small, general stuff, no problem.
March 14, 2007 at 10:33 PM
Dr. Sparky
While I don’t really care, I’d much rather have a young gay doctor with no morals.
Urspo – you all are scandalous!
March 14, 2007 at 11:53 PM
rodger
A – Doesn’t matter but I find most female Doctors more empathetic.
B – Not an issue as long as they know I’m gay and are aware of issues/risks affecting the glbt community.
C – For some odd reason I prefer them older but that’s becoming more difficult so my age works great.
D – I don’t have a problem with most Nurse Practioners but the one that works for my doctor is a bitch and always wants me to come back and see the doctor to get a prescription filled. I refuse to pay twice for another visit when they knew I was coming to get the refill in the first place. The nice thing is they no longer schedule me with her because I’ve called her on it many times and my doc wasn’t happy with her.
Bitch should know better than to try and outbitch a gay man! Snap!
March 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Michael Guy
I prefer a gay male doctor; I feel comfortable in the knowledge that I’m not being judged. And when I make the appointment…I want to see MY doctor…not a nurse practitioner.
March 15, 2007 at 4:27 AM
laurie
A. Not at all, it depends on the person.
B. Not at all important.
C. The doc that did my hysterectomy looked like she was about 12 y.o. I told her I had shoes older than her and she told me I needed new shoes.
D. My primary care doc is a physician’s assistant and he is awesome!
March 15, 2007 at 4:30 AM
Bunny Lynn Boofay
I don’t get sick very often so I don’t go to the doctor on a regular bases. I guess I don’t have an opinion on it (them) …
March 15, 2007 at 5:03 AM
urspo
thank you folks I enjoyed hearing all of this!
March 15, 2007 at 4:34 PM
deveil
Mike’s at the doctor now. He makes sure he always see’s a man, that they know he is gay, but they don’t have to be. The age things doesn’t matter. He will see a n.p. as long as it’s a man
I on the other hand don’t really care male female, if they know what they are doing, listen to me. Age doesn’t matter, and I see the nurse practitioner from time to time. But if you were my doctor I’d want to just see YOU!
March 15, 2007 at 4:34 PM
deveil
Can I have those crazy doctor fantasies?
March 15, 2007 at 4:59 PM
Ur-spo
hohoho
Derek, remember I am a shrink! Dealing with crazy doctor fantasies etc. is my daily duty.
March 15, 2007 at 7:49 PM
Maggie
A & B are a yes for me regarding GP’S. I have had a couple of unpleasant experiences with male doctors.
March 16, 2007 at 4:11 AM
Pete
I would have to go with A. First and foremost they would understand if I was going through something, man related. Second they could be a hottie and well when he tells me to strip down to my undies and socks lets just say I would now know what this sounds like for the fantasy.