This one is about the Child Complex.
There is some debate in contemporay Jungian psychology as to what archetypes are more important. In my own work with patients, I too don’t find everybody in need to explore every complex and archetype. For example – I didn’t run into many patients who need to get in touch with “The Musician”. However, several archetypes seem to be ‘popular’ that nearly everybody has to/wants to deal with them.
The Child Complex is one of these. After all, everybody was a child.
I got through 4 years of intense psychoanalytical theory training without hearing any professor say the words ‘Inner Child’. “Getting in touch with your Inner Child” became popular in the 80s. It is a popular process as many people have obvious hurts from childhood that continue to haunt their present. It also allows them to be ‘childlike’ again, and allow some parental figure (the therapist usually) to be the adult who will take care of them.
Like all archetypes, The Child is neither good nor bad but with good and bad attributes. You know the good elements of the Child– being carefree, open, innocent, playful, and curious about the way thing are. When you are a Child you have all sorts of growth potential. On the negative – well, we all know how nasty children can be to each other, and we’ve all seen the negative elements – screaming, selfish, ill-behaved creatures. In brief; brats.
I am wary when people want to get in touch with the Child archetype. What is their goal here? If it is to work through hurts to move on to being a less traumatized and victim-driven Adult, than the process is a good thing. In no way should the Child complex end up ‘running the show’.
We all know child-like or childish adults; they make lousy mates and co-workers and bosses, as they are acting like children, not adults.
An element of the Child Archetype is a child’s sense of justice. It is punitive and concrete.
If you are good = you deserve a reward.
If you are bad = you deserve to be punished.
And –
If you did not do anything wrong = life should not be punishing you.
When I hear patients upset they are good people, they haven’t done anything wrong, or they are trying so hard to be good, yet ‘look how bad life is screwing me over’ I know I am dealing with someone with a Child in charge of the Psyche. An inflated inner Child is shown by anger at the world when it hasn’t given them what they feel is fair. Sometimes this ‘Dog in the Manger’ won’t let anybody else have happiness or growth until it is satisfied ‘justice’ is achieved.
Like all complexes, the Child complex needs to be examined and ‘put in its place’ with just the right amount of psychic energy. (this diminishing of an inflated complex is where we get the word ’shrink’).
The Ego is driving the van – the Child is in its chair.
Children can be cute passengers but they are lousy drivers.
8 comments
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January 14, 2008 at 2:08 PM
Mark H
We have one living next to us………a control freak, a selfish Momma’s Boy who’s screaming now that his wife finally escaped him and is suing for custody. It’s an unbelievably difficult thing to be around. It must be extremely difficult to deal with in therapy….I don’t know HOW you get them to even HEAR that life exists without them unless THEY have come to an awareness of the issue some other way. One of the tough assignments you get, I’m sure.
January 14, 2008 at 4:28 PM
Merri
I grew up with a mother who had/has a child complex. She needed/needs constant affirmation and attention and woe betide the person who thwarts her or gets the limelight(albeit briefly).
It is hard on those who have relationships with these people in any way…
I sure don’t envy YOU dealing with them in your practise!!!
January 15, 2008 at 4:05 AM
BentonQuest
I have tended to think of maturity as “Being childlike without being childish.” It seems that those who become “old” are the people who lose their sense of wonder and awe.
What I find about the whole “childhood trauma” thing is that we are unequipped to deal with the situation as children so we develop coping mechanisms. Unfortunately, when we grow, we tend to not develop more nuanced forms of coping. So then we just pass on these “childish” coping mechanism to the next generation.
January 16, 2008 at 7:18 PM
javabear
Here’s what my “inner child” wants. I want someone else to be responsible for all this shit. I’m tired and I want to take a nap and let someone else deal with the dreary details. I want to be fed when I wake up and not have to worry where the food comes from.
What ends up happening, though, is that I deal with the shit with a thinly veiled grudging attitude. Then I escape into my computer or a book or a movie to forget about the mess until it’s time to take up the reigns and drive that cart again. And I sigh a lot.
January 16, 2008 at 8:38 PM
deveil
Actually I was reading this entry and it got me thinking of TA, the whole Parent, Adult, Child thing, how we all have those personalities in our makeup. My inner child has been coming out a lot lately, I think I’m forever Peter Pan anyway.
January 17, 2008 at 8:08 AM
BID
And that is why I divorced my first husband. I was sick of “driving” all the time.
January 19, 2008 at 6:58 AM
Doug
My inner child is far too strong. I frequently don’t know how to control it. Other than by giving it a cookie. Gluten free, of course.
January 23, 2008 at 7:31 PM
LLB
The Child is also the source of our creativity and wonder– so it is a confusing and difficult challenge to nurture this Child but also heal/soothe/educate and otherwise “shrink” it when necessary.