You are currently browsing the monthly archive for March, 2008.
She wore a yellow sunbonnet
She wore her greenest gown
She turned to the south wind
and curtsied up and down.
She turned to the sunlight
And shook her yellow head
And whispered to her neighbor
“Winter is dead”
This is a poem by A.A. Milne called “Daffodowndilly”.
Daffodils are my favorite flowers. I used to plant them back in the Midwest. Around March their green shoots would rise out of the soil, and then one day the lawns and gardens would be awash with yellow and white and bits of orange and pink. I first planted the King Alfred types – large and yellow. Then I got into vintage bulbs from Wales and the Netherlands.
And every year I would plant more – like a manic conductor asking the choir to sing even louder. I could never have enough jonquils.
Besides the delight of bright colour after so many months of gray, they seemed to signify resurrection of life. Planted in the previous autumn, they laid dormant and I didn’t know if they would come up or not. Then spring would return and with it her symbol – daffodils.
When we moved to Arizona, I left behind hundreds of bulbs. I wonder if the new owners kept them or plowed them up. It is sad to think my industry is all gone. There is a sort of legacy to them.
There are no daffodils in Phoenix, Arizona – too hot. I miss them.
I hope to die in the spring time, so I can go as they are coming up.
We recently we had a visit from Someone’s niece. She and I played cribbage. I haven’t played cribbage in over 20 years. My grandmother used to play the game; my parents continue to play it.
It made me think about playing cards in general.
My parent’s and grandparent’s generation seemed to play a lot of cards. This was a marvelous way to socialize. Couples were continually coming over for evening games of gin or hearts or cribbage.
And then there was bridge. My parents belonged to several bridge clubs. When my mother had “bridge night”, it was quite the event – card tables were set up and we boys would help with the preparations. I could these events were important. I realize now bridge was a social superglue. I don’t know how to play bridge. My grandmother, the ‘high priestess’ of bridge, refused to teach me how to play it. She was genuinely fearful that if I learned to play it, I would waste my college days away playing bridge.
I don’t know many people my age that play cards, let alone bridge. Most people who play at cards do so at the casino rather than in the context of their community. And they play alone, not with the neighbors. They play for money. I think this is a loss.
Cards were the means to get together and talk and relate to friends and neighbors.
So I miss the card games. And I wish I knew how to play bridge.
Any Spo-fans know and play?
My parents have lived in the same house since 1975. Their basement is nicknamed “King Tut’s Tomb” as it has slowly accumulated ‘treasures’ and looks as organized. My last trip home revealed “The Tomb” is getting worse; one could hardly walk around all the items.
Some of the objects go back to the 40s and 50s, leftovers from their parents’ homes.
There are items from childhood of every one of their children.
There are remnants of my father’s office after he retired.
There is father’s vast model train lay out.
There are boxes of saved books, plaques, photos, and unused appliances.
On the positive, it is pleasant go through it, pick up something, and remember. Last time in the Tomb I found the entire set of “Alfred Hitchcock and the 3 Investigators” mystery series. I also found an ashtray I made for my grandfather; it made me think of him.
On the negative, it alarms me what will happen when my parents pass away.We four kids are going to inherit this hoard and will have to clear it out. I’ve prompted the parents to start cleaning it out but they either never get around to it or don’t want to throw anything out (I’ve suspected they assume that is ‘our job’ to do).
Brother #3 is clever and can put some of it on Ebay. The Star Wars figurines and Walt Disney comic books from the 50s could get a good price.
But will we feel obliged to keep it all? Our childhood items, our parents’ things, and some things going back to the grandparents will be challenging to let go. The award plaques and framed diplomas mean nothing to us but we’ll feel guilty to toss them out, so we will keep them; our children will feel even more guilty to discard them as they will be so old – so useless things get passed down from generation to generation like a bad gene.
The 4ft x 4ft faded coloured photograph (fair condition at best) of great-grandfather isn’t something you just toss readily into the trash. But who has a wall upon which to hang it?
So King Tut’s tomb waits – probably until the parents pass and we are forced to deal with it.
Anybody want a pinball machine or a pachinko machine?
This entry is not profound or humorous or even very interesting.
It is about teapots.
At last count I have 8 teapots, each one for a different purpose or fancy.
The work teapots: The main ‘work’ teapot is a large brown porcelain teapot that makes about 6 mug’s worth of tea. It has a slight crack, so I suspect it is not going to last much longer. I don’t keep porcelain pots long; they break. Every time this happens I get a new colour.
Also at work is a little stainless steel teapot that makes about 2 cups; it is for small thirsts. I use it mostly for white and green teas, as the strainer is not very big.
The home teapots: My standard white porcelain pot makes 6-8 cups. It is for every day use. It isn’t very interesting but it gets the job done. I suspect it is a matter of time before this one breaks and gets replaced.
The stainless steel pot at work has a ‘big brother’ at home. I bought it for guests and parties. I loose count how many cups it makes – it is huge. I don’t use it much as the volume it produces is beyond consumption. It is somewhat good to make tea for iced tea.
Another pot at home is a small 2 cup Japanese style teapot for small brews. I use it mostly for herbal teas and rooibos.
Then there is a European model; a glass cylinder with a stopper-top to squeeze down the leaves. It is pleasant to watch the leave floating around; and it is fun to squish them down. It isn’t used much as most tea shouldn’t be brewed for too long or it gets bitter. It is best for oolongs.
I have a large glass jar for brewing sun tea, which I use continuously in the summer months. I place several bags of Red Rose (when I am being cheap) or better yet Yunnan Chinese Black loose leaf – a black tea that doesn’t get bitter or tannic with sitting out all day.
I have Someone’s mother’s tea pot – a quaint porcelain antique. I don’t use it much as wear and tear is causing the gilded gold on it to wear off.
P.S. I mixed up some of the pictures but I can’t seem to fix them!
Here are 20 statements I have learned in life.
1) This too shall pass.
2) Every Armageddon I have encountered was the beginning of something better.
3) What goes around, comes around. So all thoughts, words, and deeds need careful conscious attendance.
4) Play fair; play nice; trust God and forget the rest.
5) Every growth has a price.
6) The question is not ‘do I have a Shadow side to this?”, the question is ‘Where is my Shadow side in this?”.
7) The growth of the Self requires you to walk away from your tribe, go into the unknown, and be lost for a while.
Just about everything I have ever worried over has not been of consequence.
9) Happiness is a by-product of functioning. It is not a goal.
10) I no longer try to figure out where I am going.
11) I no longer try to understand the logic of the divine.
12) The greatest gift you can give this world is the most healthy you can produce.
13) Taking the safe comfortable road leads to hell.
14) I can no longer afford to let past injuries and never corrected injustices suck up my libido.
15) Never again will I allow myself to be snoockered by society’s “should” statements.
16) The mind and the body are one; so be careful what I do to either.
17) My intuition tells me what I need to know, if I would listen to it – and not reject it when it doesn’t tell me what I want to hear.
18) If you wait long enough, ‘impossible’ situations nearly always sort themselves out.
19) I can no longer do everything I want, but this is not a sad revelation.
20) Be not afraid.
Mr. Bigg at My Confessions asked me to do the following meme – I am tardy in doing it but I did it!
1. Name five songs you’re listening to right now.
2. For each song, name the memory or feeling that it evokes.
3. Tag three other people to play along.According to Mr. Ipod, there are my latest five songs:
1. Mummer’s Dance – Loreena McKennitt
2. Requiem – Mozart 3. With One Look – Patti LaPone
4. 17 Again – Eurythmics
5. Widerstehe doch der Sunde – J.S. Bach
1. Ms. McKennitt’s music evokes lots of good memories and feelings. Her music makes me think of the autumn time, when I first heard her. She also makes me think of the many trips to Stratford, Ontario, to attend the Festival. I have been going to the Stratford Festival for over 25 years. There is a feeling of something archaic and pagan in this song; deep roots.
2. I was listening to this in preparation of hearing my mother sing it last Good Friday. It makes me think about death; but not in a negative or sad way. There is a sort of sorrow to it, but there is comfort. It is one of my favorite pieces of music.I sometimes play it at the end of the day as a routine to the day’s end. It makes me think of the passing of time and where am I going. Ultimately towards death.
3. This song grabs me; I suspect because it is the call of the Anima. She can be anything and everything; and she has power. I have many different recordings of this song. I joke that if I can find one more singer doing it, I could make my own CD and call it ‘with 10 looks’
4. I like Annie Lennox. This song tells me not to be afraid to try bold new things; be watchful of taking the ‘safe road’. The line ‘we should have jumped out of that airplane after all” says it all.
5. This is my favorite Bach Cantata. I first heard it in college. It makes me feel pleasantly at-ease. I was watching TV while doing some ironing in my college apartment when I first heard it; it is one of those ‘tunes’ that imprint the scenario permanently in the mind.
Beware of Easter’s dark side viz. killer rabbits and black jelly beans!
I am in Michigan.
When I left Arizona this morning, it was sunny and in the 70s; it remained sunny until the plane got within 1/2 hour of landing – and then the clouds started. I am back in cloudy gray overcast territory. Right now it is snowing; we are supposed to get a few inches tonight. Ah, Michigan!
My mother sang at Christ Church; an Episcopalian church in Grosse Pointe. They sang Mozart’s Requiem; she did a fine job. The tenor was splendid. The church is modeled after a 15th century English Gothic style.
Whenever adult children visit their parents, it is easy for the grown parents to want to take over and be ‘mom and dad’ again, and the children to – well, revert to being children again. My mother is running around wanting to make me food and cater to my every whim. I am letting her do some of this; we both feel good that way. It is nice to be pampered so!
I get to sleep in the Kiefer bed tonight – I have written about this bed before; it is the bed my ancestor made. Five generations have slept in it.
So with no overt need to wake early tomorrow, and a snow storm out side, I hope to sleep well. I hope you all sleep well too.
I suspect a great many people who visit my blog do so because they are interested in personal growth. I have spent my personal and professional lives towards this goal – the concept that life is a continual evolution towards wholeness. Life is an ongoing process of incorporating more and more into consciousness.
This sounds nice. It is also one of the most difficult, scary tasks a person can take up. I warn patients this is no yuppie hobby – you will be transformed and the process will be ugly and completely unsettling. Going into counseling or analysis should only be done when you have “no choice” – and with the realization you don’t know what you are in for.
Why is this so scary? It involves realizing most of what you learned is wrong. It requires you to break away from your tribe(s) and go into places you did not know existed and doubt they are there. It sends you on the Dark Night Journey; it drives you into the Wilderness. And you will feel bad for doing it. It evokes depression.
And you are tested. Everyone on this journey goes through some sort of test; think of the great minds who were tempted by devils – can they be broken? Could they be bought? When I read or interview the ‘sages’, they all agree when they were called, they didn’t want to go. It required them to forgo all. It was terrifying not knowing where they were going; it required trust in something – God or the gods – and a surrender to some vision they did not want in the first place.
Most lost their friends and loved ones along the way – the people they were with prior to ‘awakening’. I don’t have a lot of success stories of people who grew and their spouse and companions went with them.
It sounds rather bleak.
Nevertheless, the journey of Self-growth will give you something wonderful in place of something small or false. It is rather like exchanging fool’s gold for real gold.
The price is terrible, but the reward is beyond belief.
This weekend I am ‘flying home’ to Michigan, Land of Perpetual Snow and Ice.
The main reason for this trip is to hear my mother sing. Since as long as I can remember, she has been an amateur singer; she is an alto. Every year she and her group sing some sort of concert for Good Friday. They usually do some sort of Requiem or Mass or something apropos for Easter.This year she is sings Mozart’s Requiem. I really want to hear that, so this year I opted to fly home. They always sing in a Grosse Pointe Episcopalian church. It is quite a lovely setting; often this church’s grounds have daffodils. Daffodils are my favorite flowers; they herald spring more than lilies.
Besides hearing her sing, I will go to Ann Arbor. I will have lunch with my friend Eileen.
I want to go to Zingerman’s and order one of everything.
I will stop by and visit friends Dale and Martin. There, I may get to meet a celebrity – Frederica von Stade is going to be at their home! What I treat it would be to meet Ms. von Stade! She is one of my favorite singers. Dale says she is ‘Sunshine incarnate”.
On Saturday evening I am going to the Easter Vigil service at my old parish. I want to hear my old bell choir perform. I miss them. However, when they heard I was coming into town they asked me to fill in as a substitute. So I will be playing as well as visiting. Yikes! I will be playing some treble bells which I haven’t done before. The music was faxed last week.
On Easter Sunday I will go with my parents to her church (that makes for two services, so I will be most virtuous). Mother will have an Easter brunch for whatever brother wants to pop by to see me.
And then I fly home. And there is NOTHING PLANNED for some time after that. Hurrah.
Only possible trip may be a weekend in Palm Springs for doing nothing more than swimming and reading.
