Monthly Archive

One of the topics breezing around Medicine these days is need for ‘cultural literacy’. This means being savvy to beliefs, customs, and diseases of other cultures.

In psychiatry, there are all sorts of foreign illnesses considered quite common and legitimate in other countries.

While I haven’t seen one case of any of the following, they would be intriguing to witness; 

Koro – from Southeast Asia, it is the intense anxiety that the penis is receding into the body. Men suffering from Koro fear the possibility of death from it.

Dhat – from India; severe anxiety and hypochondrical concerns associated with discharge of semen, feelings of weakness and exhaustion.

Taijin Kyofusho – A Japanese anxiety; the intense fear that his or her body parts displease, embarrass, or offend other people in their appearance or smell or movements.

Brain Fag – West African in origin, a condition in students in response to challenges at university; somatic and cognitive problems attributed to brain fatigue. 

This is not to be confused with the “Gumby” matter AKA Monty Python viz. “My brain hurts!”

Amok – outburst of violent behavior directed at others, often precipitated by an insult or slight; seen mostly in men.  It is where we get the expression ‘to run amok”.

Hwa-Byung – a Korean folk syndrome; a variety of somatic symptoms attributed to suppressed anger.

Pibloktoq – an abrupt dissociation disorder of extreme excitement for half an hour, followed by coma as long as 12 hours.  It is seen mostly in the artic and sub-artic regions.  During the attack, irrational or dangerous acts are done only to not recall them later on. “The bezerk Eskimo’

The allergy season has been terrible this year. Neither one of us is prone to allergies, but this year we are hit hard.

Someone has them worse; he is sleeping with a damp cloth on his eyes, which are red from inflammation. I go into paroxysms of sneezing; I sleep open mouthed thanks to a stuffy nose. 

I’ve resorted to allergy pills, but they only do so much and make me quite sleepy.

I’ve been told newcomers to Arizona eventually develop allergies either from the exposure to local allergens or to the poor air here. It is ironic that people used to move here for respiratory reasons; now they get sick for doing so.

When I was a boy I had bad allergies. I went through a series of allergy shots (do they still do these things?). The allergies went away more or less and I was pleased. Then I moved to Chicago and apparently this change was large enough to set them off again. I thought allergies would be no more when I moved out west.

An aside matter; I use handkerchiefs rather than tissue. I’ve had them since I was a boy; I thought it a sign of good style and part of being a gentleman. Most people find my handkerchief use disgusting – ‘snot rags’ they call them.

My hankies are really bandanas in every colour of the rainbow. I have to watch where I use them; having red, yellow, navy blue and robin’s egg blue hankies means more than just having a bad nose.

I am actually looking forward to the heat of summer, hoping it burns off whatever is causing us to feels so miserable.

Meanwhile, I am stoned on Allegra.  

I am anxious that my life doesn’t have any long term plans.

Someone makes pancakes or waffles for breakfast. He is a very good pancake chef.

When I am bored I rummage through drawers to clear out as many unnecessary objects I can find.

Someone plays Sudoku on line; his goal is to get it done as fast as possible.

I rue my lack of courage to go to the Pacific Northwest after I graduated high school.

I reread the favorite chapters of my favorite books.

I understand how to use the home entertainment system  - but not very often.

Someone goes to the movies without me. He sees movies I don’t care to see – those with too much movement or violence.

Time accelerates so much the weeks seem to go by in a blink of an eye.

I make and eat a whole box of macaroni and cheese

I nod off at the symphony (perhaps this one should be ‘most times’)

I think I am good looking.

I think I look dreadful (viz. skinny legs and worn down face).

Someone snores very loudly.

I poke Someone to wake him up to turn over.

When this does not work, I go sleep in the guest room.

I remember where I last put my car keys.

I believe everything is OK as it is.

I updated my Blog links.

It was sad to remove people who stopped blogging or disappeared.

It was a pleasure to add new folks who have been kind to drop by here and/or include me on their links.

If I accidentally deleted you, or the link isn’t going to your updated blog, please let me know.

If I forgot to include you, please let me know.

If you know of a fabulous blog who is ‘a must read’, please tell me.

Today the personal trainer took my measurements and weight and statistics. We compared them to 4 months ago:

Alas, nothing is ‘bigger’; nothing grew in circumference. Arms, chest, thighs etc. are ~ the same. That was a disappointment.

However, my weight is going up ~ 7lbs since January.

And - my body fat went down from 16% to 12%.

Same height; same proportions; higher weight; less fat . . . . . . . .

Conclusion < I am increasing in density.

When I was a Spo-tot, my uncle called me “Iron Mike”. Maybe I am finally become this! I will be the same density as iron. Que macho.

But what if this keeps going?

At the rate of ~ 2lb/month weight gain and no changes in height or proportion, my density will continue to increase until I become the same density as a Neutron Star.

It could happen.

I just hope I surpass the Chandrasekhar limit (go look it up).

My recent shopping for a suitable birthday present for Nephew the Older got me thinking about Godzilla and his ilk.

As a boy I was crazy for Godzilla et al. Once in a while the 430PM Movie on Channel 7 would do ‘Monster Week”. We looked forward to this, and planned our TV parties the way some plan for the Super Bowl.  Brother #2, our friends, and I would gather around the TV, enthralled to watch the destruction of Japan.

Godzilla was our favorite.  Even when he became ‘the good guy’ we preferred him to any other monster.

I had mixed feelings about Gamera. He looked good but his role of ‘protector of children’ made him whimpy. We kids wanted destruction.

Gidhra was a big favorite for this reason.

I did not like Mothra. 

And I despised Kenny.

(Cliffie at Cliffie’s Notes wrote a brilliant psychological paper on “Getting in touch with you Inner Kenny.” I hope some day she will post it).  

Apparently Nephew the Older and Nephew the Younger carry on the tradition of wanting as much Godzilla as they can find. Perhaps Brother #2 is the model for this, but I suspect it is more. Little kids identify with Godzilla; they fantasize over the power and destruction they could do, and the fear they can evoke. On the flip side; there is the fantasy of ‘being the hero’ to defend others from wicked villains. 

Besides, who can resist the ability to breathe toxic fumes and fire?

Godzilla’s success as protector of Japan and his worldwide appeal is ironic when you consider his original role. If you haven’t seen it, get a hold of the original unedited Japanese version of Godzilla. It is chilling and without a drop of camp. He is nuclear fallout incarnate, the atom bomb come alive. The folly of mankind to create and use nuclear weapons awakened Godzilla and the need for him. No wonder Japan was the one to create such an archetype!  I am sorry this Shadow Side of Godzilla has been lost over the decades of his career.

You are thinking of a person, and suddenly he phones. “Oh I was just thinking of you!” you say. ‘Funny,” he says, “I was thinking of you so I gave you a call.”

Is this ‘just coincidence’?

Jung spent some time examining if events like this were more than just chance.  He called such events Synchronicity.  

He first used the term Synchronicity in his papers from the 1930s. Translated from the German; 

“An a-causal connection between psychic states and objective events’.

An easier definition; Synchronicity is the simultaneous occurrence of two meaningful but not causally connected events.

Synchronicity is distinguished from events occurring simultaneously but unconnected in meaning.

Much ink has been spilled on what Jung thought was the cause of Synchronicity – did he believe there was some magic or god-like uber-mind causing them to happen?

My understanding is he was rejecting causality as the explanation for everything – A causes B causes C. In Synchronicity A and B happen together and have significance. And from them meaning could be derived. Eventually he went with the belief some coincidental events had a direct psychic connection with an archetype.

I had some psychology teachers go as far as seeing everything as Synchronicity.  They reject the word ‘coincidence’ from their vocabulary.

An intriguing thought – nothing in life is coincidence. And from everything we can derive some meaning. I find it a bit chilling.

Today is William Shakespeare’s birthday. He is 444 years old.

Today is Nephew the Older’s birthday. He is 10 years old.

For the past few birthdays, I gave Nephew The Older Shakespeare related items.

This birthday I am giving him a box of Godzilla DVDs.

In honor of the day –

Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more;

Men are deceivers ever,

One foot in sea and one on shore,

To one thing constant never:

Then sigh not so, but let them go,

And be you blithe and bonny,

Converting all your sounds or woe

Into Hey nonny, nonny.

Sing no more ditties, sing no more,

Of dumps so dull and heavy;

The fraud of men was ever so,

Since summer first was leafy:

Then sigh not so, but let them go,

And be you blithe and bonny,

Converting all your sounds of woe

Into Hey nonny, nonny.

I don’t drink much beer, but I like it from time to time.

I inherited non-alcoholic genes. My parents never drank much. I never saw them intoxicated or even tipsy. They enjoy a drink now and then but that is about it. Drinking was never an integral part of my upbringing. (My father calls periodic drink ‘Having a snort’ which is embarrassing in a restaurant “Gee, I’d like a snort before dinner”).

I did not drink in high school. I was too busy studying, worried I would not get into college. My first beer was when I was a senior in college (can you imagine?)

I had a lab partner in Microbiology named Piers. He was from the U.K. He made his own ale. He was proud of his recipe. So my ‘first booze’ was this beer. It was dark, strong, and complicated. I thought it delicious.  (I thought Piers delicious as well but even with a couple of beers it was always a case of ‘don’t touch’).

After college I went to Europe for a month, traveling to Germany and Austria. There I had more exposure to dark beers and ales. So I dark beer became my standard.

Later on I finally tried canned American beer – they taste awful to me. They are runny and tinny and without any ‘ummph’. 

Last weekend at a fundraiser I had a dark beer with the name with “Alaska” in it. It was lovely; I had two glasses. (Again the non-alcoholic genes kicked in. I ordered a third but didn’t finish it; I lost interest in ‘more beer” and wanted to go home and sleep. Such as party animal.)

My favorite beer remains a concoction named “Black and Tan”, a mixture of Bass Ale and Guinness Stout.

Anyone out there drink dark beer?

And if so, what to you drink or recommend?

Here are some tips to better communicate with your doctor –

1)     Write out symptoms and questions ahead of time, so you won’t forget what you wanted to discuss. You won’t loose time trying to recall things.

2)     If you are seeing a new physician; print out your medical history ahead of time. This includes family history of who had what/how old they died, your own past illnesses and operations, and your social history. This saves time – the new doctor doesn’t have to spend time getting this information if you have it written out already.

3)     Always have a list of your medications and doses, including over the counters and herbals. If you see more than one physician, each doctor may not know what you are taking.  Again, this saves time for the matters at hand.

4)     What gets a doctor’s attention is something new, something different, or something extraordinary.  Statements like “I have a stomach pain I have never experienced” or “this head ache is like none I have ever had before’ makes a physician less likely to dismiss the ‘let’s wait and watch’ approach.

5)     Most things have a variety of treatment options, including non surgical and non pharmaceutical interventions.  Spontaneously bring up you are interested in these if they are available. Lots of MDs reach quickly for a prescription pad; and are pleased to consider other treatments.

Here are some things not to do -

1)     Tell the doctor what the diagnosis is. “I have a cough and I KNOW it is TB”. People read all sorts of things on the internet and come in convinced they have a specific condition; it turns out they are usually wrong. Rather, convey you are concerned you may have this or that, and then give your supportive symptoms.

2)     Don’t tell the doctor what to prescribe or order; “I want Valium” or “I need an MRI”. Most MDs don’t like being treated like a waiter. Rather, bring up “I saw an ad for X, would that be something I could try or benefit from?” Be prepared to hear ‘no’ (I hope a “no” is given with an explanation why X wouldn’t be the best solution).

3)     In Medicine there is something called ‘the doorknob issue’ where the appointment is over, the patient touches the doorknob on the way out, turns around, and remembers he wants you to fill out papers or address another symptom or problem. Try to bring up all topics at the beginning so there is room in the appointment for all matters.

This weekend is all about bears and bells.

It starts with a work out with the personal trainer; a sweet cub – if he only knew!  He will work on my ongoing goal to become a muscle-bear.

Then I am off to church – the bell choir was hired to play bells at a wedding. I get to wear one of my new bowties. I must say the bride’s choice in music is rather common. One of the pieces she wants is Pachelbel’s Canon in D.

I must remember not to be too showy. The last time I played Pachelbel at a wedding I was in charge of all the bass bells. I weaved around swinging the bells and put on a good show. Afterwards I got chewed out negative feedback from the bride. Apparently I upstaged her. While she was walking down the aisle more people were looking at me than at her!

She suffered from Center of Attention Deficit Disorder.

On Saturday night the bear club is doing its annual bear drag fund raiser. It is always a hoot. It is titled “This Ain’t Going to be Pretty.” Ever see bears do drag? Quite a sight.

On Sunday I am back in church to play bells at the 1030AM Mass. We will combine the adult choir with the kiddie bell choir as both groups are missing a lot of members. I get to wear yet another new bowtie.

Then it is back to the bears. The Bears of the West is having a meeting in preparation of the annual Club outing. We have a lot to do!

We interrupt this blog to bring you an important announcement from the Board of Directors of Spo-Reflections.

Spo-fans are reporting worry and concern that Spo-Reflections has gotten lately far too serious and it all sounds melancholy and no fun at parties so we want to apologize to everyone in the world and to Eartha Kitt as well that we are working on the problem and Spo-Reflections will soon return to its more whimsical and lighter side once the author stops rummaging around in his tiny ADHD head for dreary contents and old memories exploited for posts.

Rest assured the author is doing quite well and keeping a positive attitude and remembering to laugh a few times a day although not at patients nor with the assistance of extraneous substances like Watney’s Red Barrel or more puerile things such as people falling down or picking their noses in public.

The Board of Directors here at Spo-Reflections guarantee you will find jolly good entries filled with whimsy and humor and not too much kvetch and no reference at all to why oh why did I not get enough brownies as a child or else the author will be sentenced to hanged by the neck until he cheers up.

Regards and best wishes,

The Board of Directors this isn’t the first time we’ve been to the rodeo and don’t f=ck with me fellas and yes I said yes I will yes INC.OBE. Etc.

I continually read journals.  Medical papers have a lot of statistics.

So, I am curious about “Spo-stats”.

This is what I discovered – 

I read ~ 63 blog on a regular basis (in science this is called the “N” or number of people in your study).  

52 are ‘active’.

28 bloggers write daily, or nearly so.

11 seem retired i.e. they haven’t posted in a long while and I suspect they are gone.  I hate to drop them; I hope they will come back some day but there is little sign of that. 

I am lurking about 4-5 new ones.

55 Are Men; 8 are Women.   ~ 85/15%

The youngest member on my blog list is in his early 20s;

The oldest person is in his mid/upper 60s (I am not sure of this).

52 live in the USA; 4 live in Canada; 2 live in Australia, 1 lives in the Netherlands; 1 resides in New Zeeland.   3 are in the United Kingdom.

51 are gay; all male.

3 of these fellows are ‘closeted’ to some degree. 

And 8 of 51 post things that make their blog “not safe for work’.

8 Spo-fans are straight.   

It makes me glad to know this isn’t “just a queer site”.

29 bloggers have partners or marriages.

Of the 63, I have met 6 of them face to face. 6/63 = 10% or so. Wouldn’t it be nice to meet all of them!

33 are use Blogger.com  22 use WordPress.com   8 use something else.

I don’t know if this ‘means anything’ but it is curious to know.

Send your letters of critique to JAMA please.

-being a child. But I know from whence this derives. I want someone to take care of me; mostly to tell me things will be alright.

-my grandmothers. They were two different women: I enjoyed both of them.

-records and record players; both 45rpm and the 33rpm types. It was fun to spin a song on a small record player. I liked records more for the covers – they allowed far more detail and art on the jackets.

-summers between levels of education; they were “to spend” and they were endless then.

-my college days – when I felt I could go and do anything given so much potential and possibilities.  (I also miss learning things other than job related matters).

-Sinclair dinosaur soap – we got them when we filled up on gas. These green lovelies are going now for major bucks on Ebay, so one doesn’t use them for bath time now.

-our two cats.  I miss having a pet, something that looked forward to me waking up and coming home.

-Midwest weather, especially the thunderstorms and the blizzards.

-several bloggers. They sometimes just stopped writing without word and did not return emails of enquiry to their well being.

-my mentor from residency. We would meet for breakfast once a week and discuss cases. He was one of the more brilliant analysts. I wish I wrote down everything he ever said.

-road trips to Wisconsin with the Best Friend. These trips had all sorts of long talks. And the official music for the ride was ABBA.

-gardening, playing the piano, genealogy, and drawing. They have dried up with lack of time.

What do you miss?

This post is about something I did for which I am ashamed.

There is a line in “Kiss of the Spider Woman” when Louis tells his mother he being gay has brought her such shame. She responds “No Louis, only if you did something cruel, or uncaring”. I find that spot-on. I despise cruelty; I despise lack of caring. 

I was very cruel once, and it remains with me like a scar.

When I was a boy I was the one everyone harassed and bullied. Kids soon learned I wouldn’t fight back or return nasty with nasty (being a good boy). I was the lowest on the pecking order. These were painful times but they no longer haunt me. But one episode remains.

There was a boy named Danny. Although he was slightly older he was even more delicate than I was. He had health problems, including poor vision. He has a terrible phobia towards dogs. So he was harassed and picked on as well.  The irony was he was such an easy target people merely left him alone.  Still, kids would gang up on him from time to time.

I suppose I was about 8 years old when I came across a group who had Danny on the ground in a fetal position. He may have been tied up. I still see him whimpering and frightened. 

I plucked some grass bits and put them in his mouth; the other kids cheered.

I hoped they would like me, let me be part of them. Or perhaps they would now leave me alone.  Needlesstosay, they did neither.

Months later I learned Danny’s brother who was friends with my brother, would no longer associate with my brother as ‘blood was thicker than water’. I learned this on Christmas day; I remember sobbing in the basement, at the realization of my cruelty.

Even then I had a glimmer of the tragedy it could have been so different. We could have been chums, rather than two isolated harassed children.  But that alternative path was closed.

I think I was in college when I learned Danny had died years earlier. He had some medical complications. I never knew the details.

Since then I have spent a life time of penance. I have been very conscious to avoid cruelty. I don’t think I have done another bout of cruelty towards another human being since. When I see such I try to assist and intervene. Some of my profession as a doctor is from the choice to help others where once I failed to do so; the battered, the victims of domestic violence, and the traumatized.

I trust Danny is sitting at the right hand of God, and he has forgiven us all, including me.

We are working on it………..

After work today Someone and I take the Precious and drive to Palm Springs. We will meet up with DougT of Gossemer Tapestry and his partner Leon AKA the Wild One.

If good fortune happens we will do hardly anything at all.

I am looking forward to this. The notion of a weekend sitting by the pool doing crosswords, sipping gin, and reading “The Pickwick Papers” sounds absolutely divine.

If we feel butch we will go hiking.

I was hoping to meet up with Tony of Life’s Colorful Brushstrokes but he has been kidnapped by aliens. Alas.

I get to go swimming and show off my work in progress torso. For once I can show my legs without feeling like an ostrich.

I hope everyone has a lovely weekend.
If there is internet connection I will try to ‘drop by’. 

I recently reminded myself why I blog. There are 2 main reasons;

I like to write. Blogging is the primary means through which I channel creativity. (gardening being closed down).

The other reason; I wanted to learn some basic computer skills.

(There is now a 3^rd main reason. I have blogger-buddies of whom I am grown quite fond. I like to ‘check in on them’ as I do with any chums.)

Remembering these goals is important, as I caught myself the other day feeling envy. I noticed I was envious towards some blogs on my link list;

Some blogs are quite photogenic.

Some are quite popular.

Some have very high numbers of visitors.

Some convey lives that are busy, exciting, and apparently very rich.

Comparing one’s self to another is so common that most of the time we are not conscious of doing it. And it nearly always comes up as a deficit.

When I compare myself to others I nearly always come up the ‘less’ than the other.

And there is the matter of comparing one’s insides to another person’s outsides.

Both endeavors do no good.

I need to be more conscious.

WordPress recently updated some of its services. Overall they are positive and I am delighted to accomplish a few things.

I managed to bring over to WordPress the entire first year of “Spo-Reflections’ from Blogger. You can now read all my entries here, going back to February 2006.

For those interested in what I look like in the yellow specs, go to 10/29/2006 “Jame and I’. You can see me wearing them.

WordPress has a ‘drop list’ so people can go to my various categories of entries. For example, those interested in Jungian psychology can now see all Jungian entries, going back to 2006.

Please go to 14 March 2008 to see my latest photograph.

A search engine is installed to look up your favorites.

My favorite entry of all time was “Plague of Demons” from mid-June 2006.

It was a very long day; I will write something more substantial tomorrow.

Sleep well all.

We have a pool in our backyard.

That shouldn’t be surprising; we live in Arizona.

When we moved here, the realtor did not ask “Do you want a pool?” He asked what sort of pool we wanted.  

Our pool is a relatively small ‘fun pool’ meaning it is deep enough for diving. (Please no comments that we are shallow). At its deepest, I can stand with just my nose above water. It is enough for the two of us.

Neither one of us ever had a pool, so we were initially clueless how to maintain it. We soon learned pools require work. A pool needs its sides frequently scraped with a metal brush - sort of like brushing your teeth and about as often. Chemicals get added to prevent the invasion of the green nasties. Lots of bits fall into the pool, which end up in twp plastic catch-baskets. They need constant emptying.

At first we hired somebody to mend the pool; but the neighbors kept pointing out how easy it was to do and we were paying a lot for it.

Vanity made us succumb and we are cheap so we do it ourselves now.

The ‘pool boy’ hired to do this was no treat on the eyes anyway.

The pool has a sweeper that cleans the bottom and rides up the sides. It looks like a vacuum cleaner. Someone calls it “Luscious Hoffman’. Someone keeps LH running right; he is very fond of the machine.

I think of LH as the ‘other man’ hohoho.

We have foam flotation devices shaped like large pipe cleaners. They are the ‘noodles’ and we have one in every colour of the rainbow.

It is most pleasant to sit astride 2-3 noodles, enough to keep you afloat and head above water. Add a cocktail you have bliss.

Someone has a fine collection of yellow rubber ducks.

The cement pond is not heated; by summer time the hot Arizona sun warms it too much – it can be near bath water. So we utilize large umbrellas to keep it and us in the shade.

And yes, at night, we don’t wear swim suits.

Scandalous!

When we drive to Palm Springs this weekend, we will take “The Precious”.

This is the nickname I gave Someone’s two seat black Honda convertible. He is proud of his car, and takes good care of it; thus I called it “The Precious”.

Someone bought “The Precious” when he got a bonus at work. “My mid-life crisis” he tells people.

Back in Michigan The Precious was on the road between April (weather permitting) and October.  We hoped to use it more in Arizona, but we’ve discovered the opposite problem. In the summer months it is too hot be in a black convertible; driving down the highway feels like a one large hair blower. So here in Arizona “The Precious” has an ‘October through April” season.

I don’t know how to drive “a stick shift” so Someone is the driver. As a passenger, I always wear my bright yellow plastic sunglasses (to avoid sun and wind and particles). They are fabulous, but t I get stares from fellow drivers. “Look Edna what’s next to us!”   

It is noisy on the road in “The Precious”. I have troubles hearing, so we don’t talk much therein. I tend to ‘Zen’ out and think of all sorts of things and look at the scenery.

I no longer stick my head out and wag my tongue and bark at other cars.

Being low to the ground and ‘open’ gives being in the “The Precious” a sensation of a race car.  I am no longer allowed to sing “Go, go, go Speed Racer…..”

Long trips usually give us with sunburn and a sense of ‘wind wear’ to the face. Not good for the complexion.

I am grateful his mid-life didn’t involve trading me in for some bouncy 20 year old!

I thought I would kvetch a bit about some of the medications I work with day in and day out.

I have to be careful here; here are a few disclaimers before I start –

1)     I use all of these medications. So they are not banned.

2)     I have lots of patients who can testify that this or that medication was the only medication that worked for them/changed their life/save their hides etc.  I am sure to get comments and emails from Spo-fans who will concur.

3)     I am giving you my own experience with these meds.

4)  Not one of the psychiatric medications is ‘clean’ or without hassles or side effects. The ones I list below are just more nasty in their way.

So with that in mind, here are a handful of pills I don’t like to use;

Xanax

I could state “all the benzodiazepines”, but this one stands out as one of the hardest to manage. I have seldom (ever?) seen a patient start Xanax and not get hooked on it. Nothing freaks out patients more than the threat I might try to take it away or lower the dose. It has a short duration, so it is more notorious than its brother medications at causing a quick ‘rush’ and a sudden withdrawal. Then people pop another and stop the withdrawal and feel better. It is the one Rx people come in and demand from me.

Effexor

Besides the usual side effects in this family of medications - weight gain, sedation and sexual dysfunction - it causes high blood pressure at higher doses; nobody knows what this means so I need to monitor blood pressure on patients who use it.

Its most notorious problem is withdrawal – you skip a dose or stop it ‘cold turkey’ and it lets you know it – weird electrical feelings and severe dizziness.

Paxil

It is very similar to Effexor, it is the SSRI most likely to cause withdrawal dizziness. Now it can’t be taken in pregnancy either. I use other SSRI in this family.

Depakote

Used in psychiatry for mood stabilization; it causes weight gain, hair loss, and sedation. It requires a lot of labs. Many of ‘its ilk’ have these problems but Depakote has the extra issue of fatal pancreatitis if you drink alcohol on it. 

Zyprexa

Another ‘mood stabilizer’ that is near guaranteed to cause sedation and weight gain.

1)     Saturday morning work out with the trainer. In the last appointment I felt frustrated I could not do a chin-up whatsoever. True, they were ‘not the usual chin ups’ but it caused flashback emotions to first grade when I could not do any chin-ups on that damn bar.

2)     Heavens to Betsy do I have a lot of paper work to do. This week was another deluge of transfer patients. One new patient said I was the ‘Saviour of the f-king Universe”. I thank the man but he was rip roaring manic and I am tired of being S.O.T.F.U.

3)     I need to call somebody about the leaks around the house and that scorpion matter.

4)     On Sunday we drive to Tucson to attend a get-together for Arizonians who go to Stratford Ontario. Hosted by a couple who live there half the year, it is a nice way to hear about the upcoming year at Stratford. This year they have the excitement of a change in Artistic director, and all that may mean.

5)     I really need to stretch

6)     I want to take a nap

7)     I’ll leave this one blank lest my family is reading my blog again

     Call my brother to wish him a belated birthday (it was this week)

9)     Laundry

P.S. Sunday night - I got 6 out of 9 accomplished.

When we moved to Phoenix we did not know anyone. In order to meet people we decided to join some social activities. So far, the closest thing to ‘success’ is our local bear club, Bears of the West (BOTW).

I have not really been part of a bear club before, so I don’t have much reference to how typical is ours.  I sense it is not typical: the emphasis is on social activities and fund raising rather than a façade to find sexual partners (indeed I sense the members who quickly come and go are disappointed that BOTW is “social”). Since social networking was our priority, I am satisfied with the set up.  

The officers and members are nice people; I haven’t found any nasty members. We’ve attended several events and field trips, which introduced us to things to do around Arizona. We’ve gone to some fund raisers; we have done some community services. So it is a good social outlet. 

Each year there BOTW does a “Phurfest” - a long weekend event with parties, dinner and some entertainment. It is held at a local hotel, like a convention. Again, I don’t have any reference if it is better or worse or even typical to other Bear conventions. I suspect ours is one of the quainter events. I volunteer to help run the hospitality suite as everyone goes through it. I get to meet everybody this way. 

Recently one of the members told me sordid, scandalous things he saw and did while at last year’s event. My first emotional reaction was “Really? I wasn’t aware things like that went going on.”  I am told most out-of- towners come in primarily to run around looking for just that. And I thought it was our silent auction that brought them in! You get what you look for.  

So far, we’ve met many pleasant people, but none have turned into close friends who would call to do things other than in the context of a BOTW event.  

Anyway, it feels good to belong to something. I believe if you are a member of some ‘tribe’ you should contribute somehow via participation and volunteering.

I am glad to have the BOTW.    

I’ve not done a Random Thoughts post in a long while. 

My Counter turned 50,000 yesterday during the April Fool’s entry. According to the Stats, yesterday was my busiest day ever for visitors.

Earlier this week Someone found a scorpion in the house. It made us both queasy to know it was probably only one of many. Time to call the exterminators.

It is also time to call somebody to clean the carpets. Ours are looking bad. I read that carpets should be cleaned annually.  

In a couple of weeks we will drive to Palm Springs for a weekend with DougT of Gossemer Tapestry and his partner Leon AKA the Wild One. I am looking forward to a day of essentially doing nothing but lounging by the pool. We hope to meet up with Tony at Life’s Colorful Brushstrokes, provided he can take a break from his busy schedule.  

We purchased our opera tickets for the Santa Fe Opera. This summer we will hear Billy Bud. I like Santa Fe. We finally get to return to the Inn of the Turquoise Bear. They were booked during our last few visits to Santa Fe. 

My sister-in-law got a fellowship in ER medicine in New York City, so Brother #3 and spouse will move this year to the Big Apple. We are excited for them; but a bit selfish – now we have a ‘base’ to come visit NYC. Maddog, I am coming to town and I promise to ‘tip big’ at your restaurant. 

I continue to go twice a week to the gym with the personal trainer. He does not give any breaks; most of the time I think him crazy-mad as to what he wants me to do. For a few days last time I was so sore I could not lift my arms over my head, or straighten out the elbows. I do hope this all ‘pays off’ 

Like the progression of the constellations in the night sky, I have 5-6 blogs that seem ‘in the wane’ viz. they are no longer publishing. I shall miss them. But ‘rising’ are a handful of new ones. People come and go so quickly here. 

I need to apologize to everybody.

I am not really who I say I am. 

My real name is George. I am 25 years old and I work at Best Buy. I am not a psychiatrist or even a doctor.  I am under psychiatric care though. I have something called Munchausen’s disorder; I tend to take on roles that I am not. I won’t go into the details of this. Most of the psychiatric stuff I’