At a Fourth of July party, a friend asked me how “life was going”. I replied without thought “Oh, I am content”. He reacted negatively; in our consequent conversation he explained ‘content” was bad word for him. It meant settling for something less than ideal. It also implied I was not striving for improvement with my lot.
I explained my definition of the word “content” means being at peace with who I am and what there is in my life time. It is a good “Zen” state; how many people can say “I am content”? I don’t think I convinced him.
Later I wondered if it is true – am I content as I said I am, or was I just making conversation? Is ‘content’ no better than the generic “Oh, I am fine” when people ask you how are you?
I suppose I am more or less content -
Despite some middle age matters, I am in good health.
My exercise programme is continuing with some results.
My relationship is going OK; no more ‘fireworks’ as when we met, but we have no nasty issues either.
We are not destitute.
I have a job I more or less like. I have a good reputation therein. My bosses are nice people, approachable.
I continue to grow and learn; I have hobbies I enjoy.
I have enough things.
Once in awhile there is a nagging feeling I could be better/do more etc. I recently read an article in the Psychiatric Times showing a classmate who is now head of a psychiatric department at a University. In comparison, my job is pokey and I am a nobody.
At the gym I am keenly aware I am far from muscular or in shape.
Someone and I are far from where we thought we would be financial-wise, thanks to the economy and unemployment.
I have a nonspecific nagging sense I am not completely at-ease with myself.
These discontents are more active when I am judging my insides to another’s outsides. It is a common habit and it always comes up deficit (seldom do we compare ourselves ‘downward’ )
So I can say I am a fortunate man.
For I am content.
Really.
20 comments
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July 6, 2009 at 6:00 AM
Shawn
I am content, and it IS ideal. It does not mean I am not still moving forward, still growing, or still improving….to me it simply means I am happy with myself and my life and that I am growing and improving from the inside. True happiness is from within, not from without. Content is a very positive state!
July 6, 2009 at 6:05 AM
Robert
Merely saying “I’m fine!”, to me is somewhat ’superficial’, to acknowledge that one’s “content” comes from the inside. It means a whole lot more. I get that ‘nagging’ feeling often as well, sometimes it’s the feeling of uncertainty or whether that I’m ‘worthy’… I question and challenge myself a lot these days, but I believe it all stems either from my self-doubt, or I wanting to grow and strive as a person.
Something like that.
July 6, 2009 at 6:06 AM
Robert
Ahaha, there you go. Shawn said it first, and better!
July 6, 2009 at 6:12 AM
Chris
I take “I am content” as feeling balanced and good with oneself and life.
July 6, 2009 at 7:02 AM
rick
It’s better for our minds to marinate in our good qualities than in what we could be or worse yet “should be” in comparison to others.
July 6, 2009 at 7:22 AM
Greg
I think “content” is good, especially given the state of things in the world.
July 6, 2009 at 7:33 AM
TJ
I agree… “I’m content.” is not as superficial as “I’m fine.” as Robert said.
As I re-institute my blog, “The TJ Times” ( http://thetjtimes.blogspot.com/ ), I hope to go public and gain readership similar to Spo-Reflections. I check in here every day.
July 6, 2009 at 10:42 AM
ElfBear
I think being content is a perfectly wonderful state of mind and something worthy of praise, not criticism. I by far prefer to be consistently content with my life than happy, which is, for me at least, a temporary state of elation that eventually passes. Rather than ride the wildly amplitudinal waves between happy and unhappy, I prefer the calm waters and smooth sailing of contentment. I, for one, highly recommend it.
July 6, 2009 at 12:18 PM
Ultra Dave
I fall into the same thing of not feeling worthy or measuring up against others, but then thay have not lived my life, nor I theirs. All things considered, I am content with myself and those things that trouble me I work on. The Dali Lama once said, ” Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to obtain it.” Truer words were never spoken.
July 6, 2009 at 2:25 PM
theportablehobbit
Nothing wrong with self-examination. But do try not to second-guess your happiness. It always get people into trouble.
July 6, 2009 at 2:42 PM
dancingwithfrogs
So am I. It’s lovely, isn’t it…
July 6, 2009 at 2:50 PM
Will
Are you a “nobody” to your patients, to the people you help, to the colleagues with whom interact professionally? Are you a “nobody” to family, to loved ones, to hundreds of men and women throughout the blogosphere, to Someone? People with high achievement jobs may not have the kind of positive influence and genuine significance in their field that one may think, nor are they always “content”–many, in fact are deeply unhappy.
There are many ways of evaluating “success.” Surely a feeling of contentment with one’s life is one of them.
July 6, 2009 at 4:37 PM
scottsabode
Content does not mean you’re ’stagnating’ – as you said yourself, you continue to grow and learn. It’s healthy to question and wonder, but don’t feel that ‘content’ is a dirty word.
July 6, 2009 at 4:37 PM
Birdie
Contentment is a state of grace.
July 6, 2009 at 6:01 PM
Jim
Content is good. Content is having a no-drama life. Content is fulfilling. Sometimes people think that life should be ALL fireworks or it’s not worth it. Try to make fireworks sometimes…!!
July 6, 2009 at 9:11 PM
wcs
I think it takes a lot to look at one’s life objectively (if that’s even possible) and evaluate it, especially with all of society’s pressure to conform to this or that set of values.
Buy this! Eat that! Look like this! Wear that! Travel here, it’s where the beautiful people go! No, there, it’s where the tasteful people go! Own these things, for they are the true markers of success! No, own these things because they demonstrate your individuality (you and a million others)!
I’m exhausted from just re-reading that paragraph.
I remember when people used to say that we are all “special,” we are, each and every one of us “extraordinary.” We should all aim high, try anything and everything, and succeed. We can do it!
Now I’ve come to reject those notions. I’m ordinary. I’m not ashamed to be ordinary. I’m not a celebrity. I’m not fabulously wealthy. I am neither mover nor shaker. I am not a muscle hunk.
But I am educated, reasonably healthy, in a long-term, stable relationship, and in a place I enjoy being doing things I enjoy doing. It’s not all fun and fabulousity. But it’s mostly on my terms. And that’s what matters.
So, if you were to tell me you are content, be you celebrity, rich dude, mover, shaker, muscle hunk, or simple guy doing what you like, I would most certainly understand. To me, it means that YOU are in control of YOUR life, however you live it.
And isn’t that the most important thing?
July 6, 2009 at 9:23 PM
jason
I like your definition.
Funny how such a simple word can have such different connotations for two people.
I think much of people’s…and the world’s maybe….problems come simply from differing definitions, or connotations…of words.
July 7, 2009 at 3:29 AM
BentonQuest
Unfortunately, I think many of us are lead to believe that our life should be in a constant state of fireworks. Richard Bach talked about living life in a constant state of exposition, as in the first movement of a musical piece. There is a lot of excitement, but never any building on themes or nuancing of concepts. Would we really want to live life in a constant state of novelty? Even Ecstasy raves had chill rooms.
Content doesn’t have to mean boring. Actually, boring would not be content. Boring assumes discontent with ones state.
July 7, 2009 at 6:08 AM
Scott
sometimes it is hard to tell complacency from stasis
July 7, 2009 at 12:51 PM
Doug
A man was relaxing in a boat fishing off the coast of Belize when one day a corporate CEO from the US came by in his mega yacht and struck up a conversation with the fisherman.
In the course of the conversation, the fisherman revealed that he caught enough fish to feed his family plus enough extra to sell to allow him to support his family. The CEO suggested the fisherman take his extra money, start a company, buy a fleet of fishing boats, hire some workers, and catch enough fish to make a fortune.
The fisherman asked, “Why?”
The CEO said, “So you can sit back and relax and go fishing.”
—
I may have mangled that story, but the gist is there.
You are content. Your friend who isn’t convinced content is good enough doesn’t know what he’s missing, and he likely will never be content and never find peace until he sees this.