Today on Yahoo I read a satirical article conveying the Mayans perhaps are right; the world is coming to an end this December.  It listed certain signs, such as the GOP primary race, pizza is considered a vegetable in school cafeterias, and Hollywood/Publishers/survival catalogs all producing lots of things for purchase so one will leave this world informed if not penniless. I thought a more sure sign of the apocalypse was the many commenters who read the article as truthful.

Here are some other signs I think support the world is going to dissolve in a new-age catastrophe this Christmas.

 

Plastic bottles 

People still buy them, drink only some of the 8-10$/gallon water, and throw the bottle away. Not only does this pollute the planet with plastic going to landfill (and eventually into our environment) it is also is a waste of water.  The world may come to and end as we become buried in half consumed (PABA included) containers.

 

Obesity as an alternative lifestyle

In medical school I was taught being overweight is a serious health concern of morbidity and mortality.  Nowadays some of my overweight patients demand I see it as an alternative lifestyle that should be seen – and provided for – as a handicap, complete with special parking spaces (near the door) and airplane seats to accommodate.  Suggestions they need help is seen like a proposal to ‘straighten’ out gay people through Christian counseling.

 

The Martini Problem

As the bartenders grow younger, it is harder to find someone who knows how to make a proper martini. First, they presume this means vodka. Then they ask “what flavor I want”.  A proper martini is gin, a bit of good vermouth (no rubbish) and an olive.

Cable Marathons

By the end of the year we will dissolve into mashed coach potatoes from 3-4 days of back to back “Law and Order” and “Project Runway” reruns. 1-2 days for “Desperate Housewives”.

 

Santorum 

I don’t know what heralds “The End” more: Mr. Santorum making his incredible statements, or the people who agree with him.

 

Bell Bottoms

Rumor has it they are coming back this autumn, just in time for the Mayans and/or the UFOs at Christmas.     Groovy.

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