This afternoon I took down all adult beverage bottles from the kitchen cabinet in order to take stock. The task was of a practical nature; I am notorious at buying something thinking I am out of it only to discover upon my return home there are several unused ones already crowding up the pantry shelves.  Someone and I go to Canada next month; we will buy wine in the Niagara region of Ontario. I also want to purchase some Canadian whiskey (no rubbish). I don’t want to bring home bottles only to discover ‘we already got one’. So, down came went the bottles and out came yellow foolscap paper and an inventory was established.

The scientist in me enjoys putting things into categories, and after all I like making lists.

Here is the raw data:

How on earth did we manage to accumulate all these bottles?  Neither one of us are big boozers, and we don’t throw that many parties, so what gives with all this booze?

Many bottles turn out to be some sort of mixer or liqueur. The hypothesis is we must have purchased them for some sort of specialty drink. Then we never made them again. To create space, I am tempted to pour them down the drain, but I am a Midwesterner; I can’t abide throwing things out.

We have a couple of bottles of booze which neither one of us recalls buying nor would every consume (coconut infused rum for instance; ghastly!) . I think some guests must have brought these, either for house gifts or personal consumption but left them behind.  They too are candidates for the drains.  If we could remember the original owners, we would invite them back.

My recent whisky/scotch/bourbon education has resulted in several bottles of each, all with a few ounces removed. I suppose brown liquor doesn’t go bad so they could sit. I propose having a ‘whisky tasting party’ but few friends like bourbon (Someone loathes the stuff).  It will be hard to justify any buying Canadian whisky*.

We have a few bottles of ‘good stuff’, like Hendrik’s Gin, which we never touch, as it is continuously being saved for ‘special occasions’. What these ‘special occasions‘ are, I can’t tell you.

There are also a few bottles of cheap vodka and spiced rum which are good for cocktails. There is little sense in mixing expensive liquor with cheap sweat and sour mix.

We could throw a party. On the other hand, I think is the trouble viz. we run out and get more bottles –  ‘in case we run out’  or we disappoint someone when his or her favorite (but obscure) drink is not available. “Oh, you don’t have Aviations? Pity.” 

Of course, we could have a ‘food push’ and just drink the damn stuff, but both of us are again watching calories.

In the end the bottles all went back from whence they came; nothing was altered. But I do have a nice list, so I won’t buy a third bottle of Seagram’s 7 Royal Crown, which neither one of us drinks anyway.

*Unless of course, I find some Old Alberta, White Owl, Collingwood, or Forty Creek. The Angels say I may bring these home with me.

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