Recently on Scruff a fellow texted me out of the blue announcing he knew of me via a mutual friend. Our mutual friend has my photo on his ‘Friends” Facebook; The fellow saw my profile on Scruff and ‘put two and two together’ and so he decided to introduce himself. We had a pleasant chat; perhaps we can meet him in someday, for he lives in town.
This pleasant intercourse made me think how intertwined we are becoming, thanks to social connections. When I first started blogging I tried to keep tabs on who knew whom. I figured it couldn’t be that difficult. I quickly had to give up as the blogging social network got complex. Next, Facebook came along; then Scruff appeared. It seems everyone in the gay community now knows everyone else.
Being a geneologist, I am intrigued with who knows whom and also ‘how’ viz. what kind of relationship do people have with each other. While I am always curious, discretion forbids me to bluntly ask how ‘well’ do you know each other.
I rather like the notion of ‘everyone knowing everyone else’. This makes us one family, a brotherhood, a circle of comrades with no one alone or left out.
On the negative, everyone seems to know everyone else’s business. Gay men are gossipy (shocking, I know!), and broadcasting one’s life on social networks doesn’t nurture privacy, does it.
I am not sure what all this networking is getting us. We are all going to become bonded brothers or give each other the clap or create factions to make The War of Spanish Succession look like a picnic.
All the same, I am enjoying the wild and wacky world of networking.
13 comments
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August 30, 2012 at 8:27 PM
Jay
In 1968 I was in California visiting my aunt. I took a friend of hers to Cedars Hospital every day to visit her father who was in the hospital. While she was visiting him I sat in the waiting room and watched people. There were many, many jewish people there from all over the country. As they visited with each other I could not help but overhear them. What made it interesting was that they all seemed connected to each other by people they knew. Did not matter where they lived they knew each other. Your post reminded me of that experience.
August 30, 2012 at 9:43 PM
truthspew
You should try living in RI. You know the old six degrees of separation bit? In RI it’s 1 or 2 degrees.
August 30, 2012 at 10:24 PM
wcs
I feel too connected at times. I like getting information on the internet, but sometimes I feel like I have to interact and comment on everything. I know that’s not the case, but I have to remind myself of it from time to time. I have abandoned Twitter and have drawn back from Facebook. I like the blog format for photo sharing, so I’m sticking to that.
August 31, 2012 at 1:05 AM
anne marie in philly
all I have is my new blog; it’s enough for me.
gossip-mongering gay men…go figure!
August 31, 2012 at 1:52 AM
Laurent
I don’t want to know all the details. Social Networks are too much of an open invitation to share all, not really necessary. Discretion is still the best part of valour
August 31, 2012 at 3:13 AM
wfregosi
I’ve been enriched by the connections made blogging and, to a lesser extent, Facebooking which I use much more to reconnect with or strengthen my connections to people I already know.
August 31, 2012 at 5:04 AM
RuralBeard
I DO like the idea of connections; it does give the isensation that we are all ONE. Moreover, I totally enjoy ‘meeting’ friends, many of whom I will never meet. It makes me think that there is a new reality taking place right before my very eyes, for I DO feel connected…I DO feel compassion and interest toward my new buddies; at times, even love. While not meeting face-to-face with said friends, I’m convinced that my feelings toward my cyber-buds is as real as if they were living next door. Here’s to a newly minted state of mind and heart. Hugs from here.
August 31, 2012 at 6:52 AM
Ron
My world would be less without the Internet and friends like you Dr. Spo.
September 1, 2012 at 3:31 AM
Mitchell Block
It is fascinating how it’s reduced the size of the world. I recently met someone here in Sevilla. I told him about my blog and he told me that his best friend had discovered it and read it daily. We met the next day. Very small world. (And it does sometimes make me a little nervous.)
September 1, 2012 at 12:26 PM
tonyd7777
for me, it is the quality of the connections, not the quantity. i have less than 100 facebook friends, which apparently makes me a sociopath, or something, but i think it makes me selective! i do not do scruff. for me, i would rather nurture the people in my life on a regular basis than keep in touch with a group who are not in my life, and don’t have much consequence in it. that is me. the connectedness offered by the internet is seductive, but it is not all it seems. it is a tool, and as with any tool, we get to decide how we are going to use it to best serve our needs! plus, i really don’t want everyone knowing my business!
September 1, 2012 at 5:16 PM
Shawn
I prefer being mysterious.
September 2, 2012 at 10:48 AM
Cubby
I think I need to look you up on the social networking sites. I’ve read a few things about you (mostly in stalls in public restrooms) and I want to see the photos for myself.
September 2, 2012 at 10:53 AM
Urspo
I hope they got my good side For a good side call Urspo
Sent from nowhere in particular.