I’m considering giving up alcohol for awhile. This is not out of concerns of excess but of vanity: our trip to Mexico is coming up and I want to get slim down some. Also, my quarterly blood work is due and it is always good to lay off the booze to better the liver function tests.
Once upon a time I briefly had a primary care doctor who thought I drank too much. I was in my 20s and was going out to the bars on weekends. She was a Baptist and did not drink herself, furfilling the medical joke:
“What defines a drinking problem patient? “
Answer: “Someone who drinks more than their doctor.”
She concluded my weekend tippling was not only harming myself but others, which was news to me. At the time I felt OK and had never attacked anyone in a drunken fury nor have I ever left the children home alone while I went out and drank so I didn’t buy her guilt trip. She warned me I was going to go through serious withdrawal when I stopped drinking. I have gone weeks without a ‘snort’ and the most I have experienced is mild annoyance.
Once upon a time she gave me a prescription for an alleged depression of which my Halsted St. compotations were a sign. After a week on the stuff I had lapses of memory, my mouth was dry as cotton, and every time I stood up I got dizzy. Gin and tonics never did that to me.
Abstinence will be challenging given this weekend is our friend’s annual Seasonal Depression party. Going to parties and drinking sparkling water is no fun. Watching everyone else get grandiose and silly while you keep sober is simultaneously educational and intensely boring. I could RSVP “yes” and not show, and cover myself by sending an e-mail thank you the next day, saying “Darling! What a wonderful party! Excuse me for slipping out without saying goodbye but you were doing so well with the twink* I didn’t want to intrude!” I could be bitchy and add something like “I hope you are feeling better soon.” Of course this only works at large parties.
*Or whatever is the host’s panache.