I have a book called “Pests” which tells about mankind’s banes from kudzu to mosquitoes. The clear winner of what bug is the most pesky is Musca domestica, or the common housefly. I most certainly agree. Nothing drives me to distraction more than a housefly whizzing around the kitchen. I don’t see them as merely insects, but Pestilence on wings. I recall from college biology the foul things can transmit dozens of nasty diseases. They are continually salivating and pooping.
I am told flies hum the note of “F” which stands for Foul.
I am like a bull seeing red seeing flies around food, for it touches on my knowledge of microbiology, infectious disease, history of medicine, and food saftey. A yellow plastic fly swatter hangs from a magnetic hook on the side of the fridge. Someone finds this disgusting; worse when I start waving it around. But it is a small price to pay considering the black death-like consequences of flies amok among the foodstuffs. At picnics and outside get-togethers I stand guard at the buffet table ever vigilant for flying filth.
I am not subtle with a swatter. I chase flies around the room with all enthusiasm of Harpo Marx. I am told flies always fly up backwards when they take off, so I plan accordingly, but I don’t have a lot of data (or luck) to prove or disprove this theory.
Happily we don’t get too many houseflies here in Phoenix. However, last winter a batch of them was born inside the house and overnight we had dozens of tiny bastards and it was quite maddening for a week or so.
But I am Fly-Master (my super hero alter ego) and I always prevail.
19 comments
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January 27, 2013 at 7:56 AM
anne marie in philly
I guess being fly-master is better than being thigh-master! bwhahahaha!
January 27, 2013 at 7:58 AM
Buddy Bear
I’m surprised that you don’t have an electric fly swatter like this one.
January 27, 2013 at 8:07 AM
Urspo
only a young man would do this sort of nonsense, dear me !
January 27, 2013 at 8:15 AM
anne marie in philly
W…T…F?
January 27, 2013 at 8:49 AM
Laurent
OK so a quiet weekend in Flagstaff brings on reflection on houseflies? Very interesting. Wonder what the Mexican vacation will bring on as posts.
January 27, 2013 at 9:00 AM
Urspo
In the B&B is a book with little known facts one was the flies hum in “F”, which triggered/inspired the entry.
Sent from nowhere in particular.
January 27, 2013 at 9:48 AM
Jay M.
I whole-heartedly agree with you, Urspo!!! FLIES = YUCK!!! Cockroaches and mice are a close second, with squirrels coming in at a solid third for vermin that I can DO WITHOUT!!!
Peace <3
Jay
January 27, 2013 at 10:09 AM
Jay
I also despise the little bastards. The worst ones are the deer flies of northern Minnesota..they bite.
January 27, 2013 at 12:17 PM
James Figueiredo
I can’t tell you how much I hate flies. They’re second only to cockroaches in my “hate and disgust” list. I remember one time, I want out of work for lunch, and at the pasta buffet at the restaurant there was a fly so big and so brightly green it looked like an emerald. I didn’t even finish approaching, turned on my heel and went right out. Don’t think I managed to eat much that day.
January 27, 2013 at 3:01 PM
David Jeffreys
As much as I hate flies and I do hate flies — have been known to hang those sticky strips up in the spring to use in addition to the multiple fly swatters that we own (but none are electric!). There is something worse, and I am an expert on this because I own a 70 acre farm here in NC. That is TICKS! There are all kinds: horse ticks, dog ticks, and deer ticks. The worse are the deer ticks because they are tiny (size of a pin head), hard to find, but cause LYME DISEASE! Of course there is also Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, of which NC has the most cases. It should be called NC Spotted Fever, and is usually carried by the dog ticks.
The only redeeming factor for ticks is having your significant other scouring your body looking for them, to make sure that you don’t have any attached. SEARCH ME BABY!!!
January 27, 2013 at 6:29 PM
Cameron
Okay, let’s RUN with this! After a little research, I came up with the following:
“Flies should be considered part of a much greater web or food chain, that supports life far beyond their pestilent existence. In any ecosystem, as intricate as its food web is, it appears that ‘everything is connected to everything else.’ Think of flies as forming links in a food chain, which can be seen in the following children’s rhyme.
Links In A Food Chain
Author Unknown
There once was a flower that grew on the plain.
Where the sun helped it grow, and so did the rain–
Links in a food chain.
There once was a bug who nibbled on flowers,
Nibbled on flowers for hours and hours!
The bug ate the flower that grew on the plain,
Where the sun helped it grow, and so did the rain–
Links in a food chain.
There once was a bird who gobbled up bugs,
And creepies and crawlies, and slimies and slugs.
The bird ate the bug, who nibbled on flowers,
Nibbled on flowers for hours and hours!
The bug ate the flower that grew on the plain,
Where the sun helped it grow, and so did the rain–
Links in a food chain.
There once was a snake who often grabbed birds,
And swallowed them whole, or so I have heard.
The snake ate the bird, who gobbled up bugs,
And creepies and crawlies, and slimies and slugs.
The bird ate the bug, who nibbled on flowers,
Nibbled on flowers for hours and hours!
The bug ate the flower that grew on the plain,
Where the sun helped it grow, and so did the rain–
Links in a food chain.
There once was a fox, and I’ll make a bet:
He’d eat anything he could possibly get.
The fox ate the snake, who often grabbed birds,
And swallowed them whole, or so I have heard.
The snake ate the bird, who gobbled up bugs,
And creepies and crawlies, and slimies and slugs.
The bird ate the bug, who nibbled on flowers,
Nibbled on flowers for hours and hours!
The bug ate the flower that grew on the plain,
Where the sun helped it grow, and so did the rain–
Links in a food chain.
The fox, he grew older and died one spring day,
But he made the soil rich, when he rotted away.
A new flower grew where he died on the plain.
And the sun helped it grow, and so did the rain–
LINKS IN A FOOD CHAIN.”
January 27, 2013 at 6:30 PM
Jay M.
I’m still killing flies!
January 27, 2013 at 6:33 PM
Urspo
Number #1 – you have a nice sense of humor Number #2 – Nice try Number #3 – kill the bastards!!!
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January 27, 2013 at 9:45 PM
Stan
I hate it when I swat one across the TV or computer screen and then have to clean it up.
January 27, 2013 at 11:03 PM
wcs
You would not like it here. We have no window screens.
January 28, 2013 at 4:07 AM
Ron
I concur with you on your abhorrence of house flies. Fortunately, we had few when we lived in Pennsylvania but here in coastal Delaware, we are fairly swamped with them. I am told they breed quite easily in the wetlands. They are especially bad at the hotel with the doors opening and closing (and sometimes staying open while the guests conduct their conversations about wheat luggage to bring into the hotel and what luggage to leave in their vehicles). I don’t like to kill anything but, like you, I keep a fly swatter at the ready to squash ‘em. I make a vow to never leave my shift (11 pm) until I got the last one. No fly will stay overnight in the hotel on my shift.
January 28, 2013 at 6:53 AM
domanidave
A New Yorker cartoon favorite of mine features two mosquito-looking insects, the one speaking has the requisite arched eyebrow of arrogance. Caption: “I was born a pest, and I shall die a pest!”
January 28, 2013 at 9:23 AM
jefferyrn
There was an old woman who swallowed a fly…..that childhood song implied a food chain of sorts. I believe it end with a horse and death as I recall.
January 28, 2013 at 9:55 AM
Greg
Flies and gnats…ugh, pesky little critters, the lot of them.