For 20 years I have heard about the legendary GAYCARD.

Usually the GAYCARD is mentioned when Somebody (no relation to Someone) says their GAYCARD is going to be revoked because they are not doing, have, or know something that is required by the GAYCARD.

I thought only two activities would be on the GAYCARD (No, I won’t spell them out, lest my family is reading this).

Apparently it is not that simple. I’ve heard hints what may be on the GAYCARD. For example, Someone wants to revoke my GAYCARD because I don’t like Judy Garland.

Listening to They-are-going-to-revoke- my-GAYCARD statements from so many people makes me guess some of the other items are:

Knowledge of Broadway musicals.

An ability to cook.

Regular TV viewing of The Golden Girls or Project Runway.

Your nipples are an erogenous zone.

The ability to quote lines from “The Women” and “Mame”

(Rosalind Russell)

Firm buttocks.

You don’t think immediately of cheese stuffed jalapeños when someone mentions ‘poppers’.

Cher and Madonna CDs.

Shoes and belt that match at all times.

You watch the Golden Globe Awards  - to see the dresses.

Brunch on Sundays.

You shop at IKEA.

What the hell is on the GAYCARD?

Does anybody have any ideas?

I’ve been summoned to Jury Duty.

I consider jury duty an honor. Our democratic process depends on things like this. Yes, it is a pain in the neck to do, and it is inconvenient. But it is an important obligation.

By the way, a few times a month I get a call from a patient who wants me to write an excuse to weasel out of their own summons. Usually these are the same people who bitch that the world is holding their mental illness against them.

I think I would enjoy being on a jury. However, I am never chosen. I merely have to open my mouth to doom my chances – Yes, I am a board certified psychiatrist. Yes, I’ve had a lot of experience with the legal system doing court commitments and court ordered medications. And I used to work in a law firm. I come from a family of lawyers.  

“Next”

Whom they do pick worries me. The chosen don’t come across as too bright. I suppose lawyers pick them as more easily manipulated. Or perhaps the person on trial needs a ‘jury of his peers’ and this lot are his ‘peers’?

Oh well. It gives me a day off from work. I get to watch the process. There are worse ways to spend a day and fill one’s civic duties.

6/18 Update - I was not called !

Wayne at Benton Qwest!

He writes his week consists of;

Making coffee for soccer moms. Yawn.
Recovering from my recent “adornment.”
Not much else.

Can you imagine him pouring coffee to a bunch like that and telling about how he won a year’s supply of Cialis?

Wouldn’t that be the talk of the town !

And the ‘adornment’ with Cialis sounds like such a good combination!

Congratulations!

Food Fight

Cliffie at Cliffie’s Notes sent me this.
It is the history of American war since WWII. It is brilliant!
It took me a few views to figure out what is who.
It first made me laugh; then it made me sad.

 Every year Kelly (the dear) at  http://www.kellystern.net posts a new photo for Pride Month. I think this is my 3rd annual participation. This is how I know the ‘anniversary’ of Reading “Stern Point of View” is here. 3 years reading Kelly! I will have a cosmo this weekend in his honor!

Please consider posting it on your blog; and let Kelly know!

Happy Pride!

Tonight we hear Earth Kitt !!!

She is coming to town to give sing some songs with the Symphony.

One of the songs will be “I’m Still Here”.

I haven’t been this excited since my first trip to Key West.

For those who haven’t read my earlier posts, Earth Kitt and I have a special bond. When I first saw her she was on Batman, and I deduced the truth; she is actually from outer space. Since this revelation she uses my brain as a rendezvous to communicate with aliens from other worlds. What else explains the sudden loud renditions of her songs in my head? I can imitate her voice so perfectly that it must be possession.

At first I found it charming; now I find it a bit pesky. Having your head used a motel or modem is a nuisance. But I don’t begrudge Ms. Kitt too much; I love her so.  

I hope I can meet her and shake her hand and give break the psychic connection. It will be like passing the Runes. Physical contact could be a mistake – what if this causes her to completely take over me? (Someone feels this has already happened.)

Whatever happens, I am pleased as punch to hear my Diva-Goddess in person.

It makes me angry to see how President Bush has caused so much damage to the nation and the world from his war. I treat some veterans who have returned from wars overseas. War is always hell, but these young people continually report the uselessness and senselessness of the whole endeavor. They are quite hurt, perhaps for life. The VA system (always a problem) does them little to no good. One of my patients was ‘rewarded’ for his services by placement in a VA job where his immature out-of-control co-workers run around unsupervised while the powers-that-be blame him for having PTSD. Can you imagine?

It makes me angry how we squander so much on pork barrel projects and “defense” while so many people suffer from lack of basic needs.

It makes me angry to see how the judicial system is stacked towards the person with money, not towards justice.

It also makes me angry how quickly Americans exploit each other’s fragility and misfortunate as opportunities to sue. I recently saw a woman fall in front of a store; you could see the glee in her eyes as she began asking witnesses to attest; she was already planning her lawsuit for all she could get.

It makes me angry that gay people are used as a scare tactic by moralistic hypocrites to create policy with their particular religious beliefs.

It makes me angry people remain ignorant and fearful enough to ‘buy it’.

It makes me angry to see the Western world subsidize foodstuffs into fuel; it is a process without proven savings AND derives the poor of affordable food.

It makes me angry to hear Americans scream for ‘no government interference in their lives – until this philosophy inconveniences them. A natural disaster arrives or their own folly causes grief – then they demand government assistance.

It makes me angry to see ignorance shout down wisdom.  

It makes me angry to see waste of any kind.

It makes me angry to see cruelty.

It makes me angry we continue to want simple black and white answers when faced with a fear or a challenge.

It makes me very angry indeed.

My 2 years of falling down the rabbit hole into Blog–land have given me five ways to find a blog.

1) Through the mentor –

When I started blogging, I knew of one blog – Michael at Temporary Trouble Spots. I started reading blogs from his links. Many of these have stopped blogging, but a few remain. I am quite fond of these ‘founding fathers’ like Andrew at The Other Andrew and Mr. Sorted at Sorted Lives.  

2) Reciprocation –

People come a-visiting. Out of courtesy, I started reciprocal reading. Many of these became regular reads. Rodger of Rodger Dodger, Seamus at Scribe of Babylon, and Dietrick at My Philosophy are examples of this category.

3)“Our Mutual Friend” –

I see someone regularly commenting on blogs I read. I see them enough I get curious who they are. I usually like them; it makes sense I would like people reading the blogs I like. Sean at Idle Eyes and a Dormy, and Pink at Pink Pages are examples.

4) “Caught my eye”-

The title of a blog was catching, or their profile picture is handsome. Laurie at Don’t Make Me Get My Flying Monkeys, and Mark at Citywoof are examples of this sort.

5) Fate -

I don’t recall how I found these reads. Perhaps the Fates pulled a few strings and sent them my way. By now this includes most of my links.

There could be a new 6^th category – Referrals

Tell me the name of one of your favorite blogs, and a brief reason why you recommend them/like them.

I’ll tell them you sent me…..

Our weekend has been pleasant enough.

On Saturday morning I went to the gym for the usual appointment with the trainer. He had me jump rope, which is something I haven’t done in 20 years or so. I wasn’t very good. I have a new jump rope now and supposed to practice a few times a week.

Spo-fans of the female persuasion -anybody know some good jump rope songs from childhood?

As is the wont, we spent Saturday driving around doing errands.

We both got haircuts. Out of whimsy I got quite the buzz cut, and translated my beard into a goatee. Alas, I have no camera to show this, but it makes me look younger and a bit studly if that is possible.

I bought new headphones for the ipod. My old Sony walkman headphones didn’t work in the R ear. I asked the salesman for a decent but inexpensive set of headphones. It may have been the ‘summer rain’ of the day, but he insisted a certain type was excellent and very inexpensive – my new headphones have skulls on them. So I am a Goth. Like wow man, totally rad.

We saw the 2^nd ‘Narnia’ movie. I don’t recall the book having so many battles and violence. I sense they ‘Lord-of-the-Ringed’ it up. It certainly reminded me of LOTR.

For dinner, I chose a simple dish out of one of my many Churchwomen’s cookbook. I used The Best Friend’s mother’s church’s cookbook from Oshkosh WI. We made skillet stroganoff. It was a treat.

Between the heat and my ongoing allergies I have had it. Around 130AM in the morning I woke up, closed all the windows and finally turned on the AC.

It won’t really go off until October.

Today I will go to Mass to pray for the souls in China, Burma, etc. I will make solar iced tea. I have three train-wreck psychiatric evaluations to dictate.   I want to catch up on blog reading.

I hope to spend some time in the pool.

I hope you all are doing fine; any ‘highlight’ to your weekend? Do tell.

Recently I wrote about beer: I thought I would write about wine.  I prefer wine to beer, and either to a weekend in Iowa.

Wine was a special treat when I was growing up. My grandfather liked to have wine at Thanksgiving and Christmas, so wine was associated with special times.  He liked German Rieslings. For a long while I thought all wine was white and sweet and crisp (and German). 

My boring parents never drank wine with dinner; we were a ‘milk’ family. When I grew up I vowed I would drink more wine.

I made a study of wine. I read a lot of books; I read “The Wine Spectator” every month. I got all the lingo down: I think I have a discriminating palate. 

When I lived in Chicago, I had a basement.  I started developing a wine collection. My focus was finding very good bottles at low prices. I like the notion of drinking a $15 bottle ranked at “85” rather than a 200$ bottle ranked at ‘90’.

Turns out, I am more ‘book savvy’ than a drinker. Someone is not a great wine drinker (and red wine gives him a headache). So we don’t drink much wine. Then there is the Arizona climate. Wine ‘bakes’ with heat. In summertime we keep the AC at 80 degrees (yes, that is cool compared to 110 degrees). This ruins what wine we have. I’ve learned to buy a bottle and use it or loose it.  No more collecting.

Last Christmas we decided to forgo much gift giving in lieu of buying a wine storage box, but we haven’t yet purchased it.

Once again my genes work against me. I get rather sleepy after 2 glasses and therefore limit myself to that. In a restaurant I never order a bottle of wine; I order by the glass.

My favorite vineyards –

Stag’ Leap in Napa.

Schloss Vollrads from Germany.

Ruffino Chianti.  

Pol Roger is my champagne (non-vintage is fine)

Cakebread Cellars

Pinot Noirs from Oregon.

Eiswein from Ontario

A Shiraz from Australia.

If you drink wine, please tell me your favorite or a good recommendation.

I am always keen to try new types.

This weekend is our bear club’s annual ‘convention’, called Phurfest.

Someone and I will check into the hotel and stay the weekend there, despite it being in town. Driving to/from the convention is time consuming and we get home too late/miss out on some things.

We will spend most of the weekend helping out, running errands and manning the hospitality centre. I prefer this sort of activity to the scheduled events or sitting by poolside.

I am not very good at sitting still.

I haven’t been to similar Bear Club party weekends, so I don’t have any comparison to ours. I suspect we are one of the tamer ones. We will have a few bar events, a dinner with entertainment, and some poolside activities. There will be a lot of food. We will have a silent auction for charity. Someone and I contributed a basket of imperial tid-bits.

At last report, reservations are down compared to past years, probably from the economy. People have to pay more to get here, either by flying or by driving. We are getting more ‘locals’ this year.

This year’s soiree has a science-fiction theme. Last year’s theme was cowboys AKA “Bearnanza”.  Each year we announce what is next year’s theme, and my proposal turns out to be the winner! ; a Roman theme titled Ursus Maximus.

Togas, gladiators, and slave auctions….the mind boggles.

So I don’t know if I will have access or time to blog much this weekend.

Perhaps I can read blogs during the late night shift between 12-2AM, provided there are no late night bears in need of hospitality…..

oooh I am talking scandal!

I updated my Blog links.

It was sad to remove people who stopped blogging or disappeared.

It was a pleasure to add new folks who have been kind to drop by here and/or include me on their links.

If I accidentally deleted you, or the link isn’t going to your updated blog, please let me know.

If I forgot to include you, please let me know.

If you know of a fabulous blog who is ‘a must read’, please tell me.

Today the personal trainer took my measurements and weight and statistics. We compared them to 4 months ago:

Alas, nothing is ‘bigger’; nothing grew in circumference. Arms, chest, thighs etc. are ~ the same. That was a disappointment.

However, my weight is going up ~ 7lbs since January.

And - my body fat went down from 16% to 12%.

Same height; same proportions; higher weight; less fat . . . . . . . .

Conclusion < I am increasing in density.

When I was a Spo-tot, my uncle called me “Iron Mike”. Maybe I am finally become this! I will be the same density as iron. Que macho.

But what if this keeps going?

At the rate of ~ 2lb/month weight gain and no changes in height or proportion, my density will continue to increase until I become the same density as a Neutron Star.

It could happen.

I just hope I surpass the Chandrasekhar limit (go look it up).

I don’t drink much beer, but I like it from time to time.

I inherited non-alcoholic genes. My parents never drank much. I never saw them intoxicated or even tipsy. They enjoy a drink now and then but that is about it. Drinking was never an integral part of my upbringing. (My father calls periodic drink ‘Having a snort’ which is embarrassing in a restaurant “Gee, I’d like a snort before dinner”).

I did not drink in high school. I was too busy studying, worried I would not get into college. My first beer was when I was a senior in college (can you imagine?)

I had a lab partner in Microbiology named Piers. He was from the U.K. He made his own ale. He was proud of his recipe. So my ‘first booze’ was this beer. It was dark, strong, and complicated. I thought it delicious.  (I thought Piers delicious as well but even with a couple of beers it was always a case of ‘don’t touch’).

After college I went to Europe for a month, traveling to Germany and Austria. There I had more exposure to dark beers and ales. So I dark beer became my standard.

Later on I finally tried canned American beer – they taste awful to me. They are runny and tinny and without any ‘ummph’. 

Last weekend at a fundraiser I had a dark beer with the name with “Alaska” in it. It was lovely; I had two glasses. (Again the non-alcoholic genes kicked in. I ordered a third but didn’t finish it; I lost interest in ‘more beer” and wanted to go home and sleep. Such as party animal.)

My favorite beer remains a concoction named “Black and Tan”, a mixture of Bass Ale and Guinness Stout.

Anyone out there drink dark beer?

And if so, what to you drink or recommend?

This weekend is all about bears and bells.

It starts with a work out with the personal trainer; a sweet cub – if he only knew!  He will work on my ongoing goal to become a muscle-bear.

Then I am off to church – the bell choir was hired to play bells at a wedding. I get to wear one of my new bowties. I must say the bride’s choice in music is rather common. One of the pieces she wants is Pachelbel’s Canon in D.

I must remember not to be too showy. The last time I played Pachelbel at a wedding I was in charge of all the bass bells. I weaved around swinging the bells and put on a good show. Afterwards I got chewed out negative feedback from the bride. Apparently I upstaged her. While she was walking down the aisle more people were looking at me than at her!

She suffered from Center of Attention Deficit Disorder.

On Saturday night the bear club is doing its annual bear drag fund raiser. It is always a hoot. It is titled “This Ain’t Going to be Pretty.” Ever see bears do drag? Quite a sight.

On Sunday I am back in church to play bells at the 1030AM Mass. We will combine the adult choir with the kiddie bell choir as both groups are missing a lot of members. I get to wear yet another new bowtie.

Then it is back to the bears. The Bears of the West is having a meeting in preparation of the annual Club outing. We have a lot to do!

We interrupt this blog to bring you an important announcement from the Board of Directors of Spo-Reflections.

Spo-fans are reporting worry and concern that Spo-Reflections has gotten lately far too serious and it all sounds melancholy and no fun at parties so we want to apologize to everyone in the world and to Eartha Kitt as well that we are working on the problem and Spo-Reflections will soon return to its more whimsical and lighter side once the author stops rummaging around in his tiny ADHD head for dreary contents and old memories exploited for posts.

Rest assured the author is doing quite well and keeping a positive attitude and remembering to laugh a few times a day although not at patients nor with the assistance of extraneous substances like Watney’s Red Barrel or more puerile things such as people falling down or picking their noses in public.

The Board of Directors here at Spo-Reflections guarantee you will find jolly good entries filled with whimsy and humor and not too much kvetch and no reference at all to why oh why did I not get enough brownies as a child or else the author will be sentenced to hanged by the neck until he cheers up.

Regards and best wishes,

The Board of Directors this isn’t the first time we’ve been to the rodeo and don’t f=ck with me fellas and yes I said yes I will yes INC.OBE. Etc.

I continually read journals.  Medical papers have a lot of statistics.

So, I am curious about “Spo-stats”.

This is what I discovered – 

I read ~ 63 blog on a regular basis (in science this is called the “N” or number of people in your study).  

52 are ‘active’.

28 bloggers write daily, or nearly so.

11 seem retired i.e. they haven’t posted in a long while and I suspect they are gone.  I hate to drop them; I hope they will come back some day but there is little sign of that. 

I am lurking about 4-5 new ones.

55 Are Men; 8 are Women.   ~ 85/15%

The youngest member on my blog list is in his early 20s;

The oldest person is in his mid/upper 60s (I am not sure of this).

52 live in the USA; 4 live in Canada; 2 live in Australia, 1 lives in the Netherlands; 1 resides in New Zeeland.   3 are in the United Kingdom.

51 are gay; all male.

3 of these fellows are ‘closeted’ to some degree. 

And 8 of 51 post things that make their blog “not safe for work’.

8 Spo-fans are straight.   

It makes me glad to know this isn’t “just a queer site”.

29 bloggers have partners or marriages.

Of the 63, I have met 6 of them face to face. 6/63 = 10% or so. Wouldn’t it be nice to meet all of them!

33 are use Blogger.com  22 use WordPress.com   8 use something else.

I don’t know if this ‘means anything’ but it is curious to know.

Send your letters of critique to JAMA please.

We are working on it………..

After work today Someone and I take the Precious and drive to Palm Springs. We will meet up with DougT of Gossemer Tapestry and his partner Leon AKA the Wild One.

If good fortune happens we will do hardly anything at all.

I am looking forward to this. The notion of a weekend sitting by the pool doing crosswords, sipping gin, and reading “The Pickwick Papers” sounds absolutely divine.

If we feel butch we will go hiking.

I was hoping to meet up with Tony of Life’s Colorful Brushstrokes but he has been kidnapped by aliens. Alas.

I get to go swimming and show off my work in progress torso. For once I can show my legs without feeling like an ostrich.

I hope everyone has a lovely weekend.
If there is internet connection I will try to ‘drop by’. 

WordPress recently updated some of its services. Overall they are positive and I am delighted to accomplish a few things.

I managed to bring over to WordPress the entire first year of “Spo-Reflections’ from Blogger. You can now read all my entries here, going back to February 2006.

For those interested in what I look like in the yellow specs, go to 10/29/2006 “Jame and I’. You can see me wearing them.

WordPress has a ‘drop list’ so people can go to my various categories of entries. For example, those interested in Jungian psychology can now see all Jungian entries, going back to 2006.

Please go to 14 March 2008 to see my latest photograph.

A search engine is installed to look up your favorites.

My favorite entry of all time was “Plague of Demons” from mid-June 2006.

It was a very long day; I will write something more substantial tomorrow.

Sleep well all.

We have a pool in our backyard.

That shouldn’t be surprising; we live in Arizona.

When we moved here, the realtor did not ask “Do you want a pool?” He asked what sort of pool we wanted.  

Our pool is a relatively small ‘fun pool’ meaning it is deep enough for diving. (Please no comments that we are shallow). At its deepest, I can stand with just my nose above water. It is enough for the two of us.

Neither one of us ever had a pool, so we were initially clueless how to maintain it. We soon learned pools require work. A pool needs its sides frequently scraped with a metal brush - sort of like brushing your teeth and about as often. Chemicals get added to prevent the invasion of the green nasties. Lots of bits fall into the pool, which end up in twp plastic catch-baskets. They need constant emptying.

At first we hired somebody to mend the pool; but the neighbors kept pointing out how easy it was to do and we were paying a lot for it.

Vanity made us succumb and we are cheap so we do it ourselves now.

The ‘pool boy’ hired to do this was no treat on the eyes anyway.

The pool has a sweeper that cleans the bottom and rides up the sides. It looks like a vacuum cleaner. Someone calls it “Luscious Hoffman’. Someone keeps LH running right; he is very fond of the machine.

I think of LH as the ‘other man’ hohoho.

We have foam flotation devices shaped like large pipe cleaners. They are the ‘noodles’ and we have one in every colour of the rainbow.

It is most pleasant to sit astride 2-3 noodles, enough to keep you afloat and head above water. Add a cocktail you have bliss.

Someone has a fine collection of yellow rubber ducks.

The cement pond is not heated; by summer time the hot Arizona sun warms it too much – it can be near bath water. So we utilize large umbrellas to keep it and us in the shade.

And yes, at night, we don’t wear swim suits.

Scandalous!

Simon’s Cat ‘Cat Man Do’

As yesterday’s entry was rather lofty, it is time for some nonsense.
My brother sent this to me; he remembers our white cat.

So far this week hasn’t been any good. I came back from my holiday to develop flu or pneumonia; I am tired of hacking and my chest hurts. 

Last night I kept waking up ‘drowning’ in fluids in the lungs. How bizarre is this – last night Mama Cass’ “Dream a little dream of me” kept going through my mind.  Putting these two together = she is haunting me and wants me to join her…… 

I also have a bad heat rash on my chest, and a lip with cold sores.  I feel leprous.  

Work is ticklish – not only is the clinic trying to deal with one less doctor, some of the billing and receptionist staff simply stopped coming in. So a skeleton crew is trying to deal with the deluge of telephone calls and Rx requests etc.

There are other matters at work too, but for safety’s sake I won’t talk about them here. They are upsetting though; they effect my sleep. 

Listening to NPR I hear about a fungus that will probably kill off over 90% of the New England bat population. I found this really depressing. They join the frogs and the bees in massive die offs.  Apparently I made some major errors in my 2007 taxes; so I am going from a tax return to OWING taxes. So much for my savings.

Meanwhile, stocks and my savings drop and drop…… 

No fun in this.   

In less than a week Someone and I leave for our annual winter holiday. Normally we go in late January to Key West (where we met). This year we are going on a cruise in the Caribbean with DougT of Gossemer Tapestry and his partner Leon AKA the Wild One. It is their 1^st cruise; it is our 4^th.  

Someone and I have the misfortune of jobs that don’t allow us to go away on holiday with much ease. The week prior to a vacation is jam-packed with things to do. We are the sort of persons who don’t like to leave a lot behind for colleagues; so we work hard to get things as tidy as possible. I try to get as many crisis and patients ‘tucked in’ so the cover docs don’t have too much to do. Someone has it worse; he has projects and deadlines to complete.

Besides tucking in work, we have errands to run – order the tuxedos, get the passports and tidy up the house.  

And then there is the packing. I pack a few times as I never get it right the on the first attempt. I tend to over-pack and then cut back. Our vacation is 9 days long, so I want to bring 9 shirts from the “Spo-Reflections label”. I need to remember to leave space for potential purchases.   

The Books I am bringing on the cruise –

The Golden Compass

The Pickwick Papers

The Essential Dali Lama 

Do they have internet service on board? I hope so.

I want to keep in touch and post the news!

SORORITY GIRLS FROM HELL! - Lois Bromfield

Michael at Temporary Trouble Spots recently posted this; it brought back found memories of Monday nights at Sidetrack in Chicago.

This one is for you Eileen!

A Spo-fan sent me this from the on-line encylcopedia.

In the fictional universe of Babylon 5, spoo is a valuable and highly desired food product. Made from the alien worm-like creatures of the same name, spoo is considered to be the most delicious food in the galaxy, regardless of which species is asked. Although it is a universally loved foodstuff and an actively traded commodity, the creature itself is regarded with contempt by the races that consume it.

Since its introduction on the Babylon 5 television series, spoo has remained popular among fans of the science fiction saga, spawning everything from attempts to cook their own version of spoo, to fan fiction related to the creatures. “Spoo” is also used variously outside the Babylon 5 universe and fan community as a nonsense word.

in 2007 I have been using WordPress.
Most of my blogging buddies use Blogger. It looks like Blogger has improved; I have not heard recent grips about it. So in 2/08 I am considering coming back to Blogger.
If anyone is reading this, could you leave a comment you came and visited
and
could you tell me if you are happy/dissatisfied with Blogger

Regards,
Urspo

A)   Are you at home or away this year?

B)   If you are away, how far did you travel to get there?

C)   Will there be drinking?

D)   Will you watch football?  

For me – 

A)   I will be next door at the neighbors.

B)   I will travel by foot  ~100 yards.

C)   I will have a pre-dinner cocktail, and a glass of wine with the dinner. If I am still awake after dinner, I may have a cordial of Nucello.

D)   Yes, I am sooo butch at times. (I just won’t let on I am clueless what I am observing) 

Your turn now!

Note: Sometime this weekend Spo-Reflections will see 30,000 visits!

I continue to be honored that people stop by; even more so when they return.

Thank you all for being part of my life.

Hallowe’en candy at our house has a strata. If you come to our house, you are evaluated for what sort of treat you will be receiving.

First level; the “A” candy

This goes to children who are excited and their costume is clever. Manners are a vital component for receiving the “A” candy. No manners eliminates any possibility of getting the “A” candy.

In the last few years the “A” candy has been Halloween PEZ dispensers. As one youngster put it ‘This house rules!”

Second level; the “B” candy

This is the bulk of the hand outs; they go to children either polite, or with a decent costume or showing some excitement – but nothing out of the ordinary.

“B” candy is often some bulk candy that is decent but not extraordinary. “Fun size” chocolate bars are a good example.

And the lowest level is the dreaded “C” candy

This is given to the snot nose kids with no costume or lousy manners or with bored or greedy interactions. The signal to Someone a C candidate is approaching is the exclamation ‘Oh, look and C what is here!” Often teenagers fall into this category – they seldom are in costume; they are out looking for as much as they can grab. No smile; no ‘trick or treat’ and no “thank you!”

Last year’s “C” candy was Smarties – one Smarty per nasty child.

This year’s “C” candy will be the leftover Smarties from last year.

Won’t that be some trick!

Throughout history, people have attempted to cure syphilis using a variety of materials. 

In the 17^th century, a cock – of the chicken variety – was boiled with spices and herbs, along with three ounces of worms that was collected from a horse’s dunghill and cleansed with white wine.  The resulting broth was to be mixed with crushed snails from a vineyard. This poultry concoction was applied as a poultice.  

Another cock cure; the physician Nicholas Culpepper suggested men with the clap soothe their members in the warm innards of a freshly killed fowl.  

For those not into chicken, there was always mercury - .this was the standard treatment up until the 20^th century. Mercury often caused sweats, excessive salivation, sores, loss of teeth, and a bad smell, all very good for preventing the spread of a social disease.  

The US Medical Annual of 1913 states; 

“In those who have been exposed to infection the entire penis is scrubbed with liquid soap and water for several minutes, and then washed with mercuric percholirde lotion 1:2000. The abrasions are sprayed with hydrogen peroxide. Two urethral injections of 10% argyrols are then given and retained for five minutes. The whole penis is then rubbed with 33% calomel ointment, which is kept on for several hours.”   

Penicillin came around in 1943.

I don’t seem to have any zeal for Hallowe’en this year. 

This may be a symptom of the lingering autumnal seasonal affective disorder, but I think it is more. It is hard to get into the feeling of a holiday without the usual cues. I have no fall colour, no signs of autumn. Even the night remains too hot for sleeping. It is hard to celebrate ‘the passing of the year’ when every month more or less feels the same.

But I think the main reason for the lack of excitement is I am growing old. As a boy, Hallowe’en used to be wonderful, magical, and exciting. Every year I try to revive some of this thrill through nostalgia; I play familiar music, I get out vintage decorations etc. Alas, there is nothing there anymore; all the ‘juice’ has been squeezed out of the orange. At this point the notion of getting out the boxes seems too tiring.

In contrast, my brother has Hallowe’en excitement as he has children; my two nephews are squealing with delight in anticipation of costume parties and trick-or-treating. I think you need children to feel excited about a holiday.

Otherwise holidays are a drudge. When you can’t have tradition, you should have an adventure. Perhaps I should stop trying to make it ‘what it was’ and do something new and adventuresome.

We’ll see what the next few weeks bring.

Anyone with some new ideas to try?

The Kransky Sisters - Sweet Dreams

Thanks to Andrew, at The Other Andrew, I have found a new set of Goddesses.

Added to the Muses, the Fates, the Graces, the