I shouldn’t write blog entries when I am cross but this past week and weekend had issues. Mind! There was nothing truly bad about the events – I am talking lumps in the oatmeal, not lumps in the breast* – but the accumulation of disappointments and let-downs (or my ‘saving throw’ didn’t work ) resulted in a magnificent Sunday night gloom. I would go to bed but it is only 630PM.
One of the disadvantages of being a psychiatrist (or someone who has been through therapy/analysis, or just plain good at knowing themselves) is you know the reasons for your emotions and subsequently what NOT to do, but there is a strong urge to do just that. It’s like being trained for good manners and composure when what you really want is to curse, eat bad things and smack heads together. My inner-Mrs. Danvers (or one of that crowd) is whispering in my ear I should do some sort of outrage. Emotional acting out is calling me like the Sirens.
My trouble is when in a pique I still want Mother or Father to tell me it’s alright. I’ve been told this is typical of a Cancer Man.
In my doldrums today I had a sudden recollection of a book from my childhood. It is about a boy telling his father at day’s end “Alexander the Horse” was a total bitch** and ought to be punished in some way. Brilliant book! It covers the Archetype of the Child (negative aspect) projecting all his Shadow onto another. Father-cum-analyst-cum-Ego listens without judgment, attunes the affect, and lets on he knows someone else who must have had a bad and tomorrow things can be better.
Writing this out has helped.
Let’s hear it for sublimation.
Going for a dog walk with the cleaned and pressed pooch will also help to burn off the bummers.
I still want to eat a large pizza after committing some outrage. :-)
* The one possible exception is the matter in Indiana. I suspect it is a harbinger of things to come; it is only a matter of time before nearly all states pass such laws and all the recent advances are for naught.
** I don’t think he uses these precise words, but close to them.