The Car Key Gnomes have been quite active this month.

For those unfamiliar with car key gnomes, they are a species of elf who take your car keys from the place you set them, and put them into the couch or some other out-of-the-way receptacle . One time the CKG put my keys in the washer machine. Active at night, they are insatiable in their need to move around objects. When they can’t get hold of keys, they branch out into wallets, cell phones, and books. 


They drive me bats, but one has to live with them. Worse luck! They’ve invited their relatives to come over and stay awhile. Our house is plagued with fairy folk, obsessed with causing chaos.


The Computer Gremlins – they can be more annoying than the car key gnomes. They freeze up screens and force one to reboot the computer. Brother #3 insists this is merely faulty Windows products Mr. Gates installed to annoy and make things generally irritating, but I know better.


The Entertainment Centre Pixies – their life’s work consists of casting spells when I attempt to remember how to operate the control devices that operate the TV system. As soon as I touch the controls, the pixies discombobulate me to forget how to operate the damn things. They have rewired the system so the only function I want – playing an ipod outside – is no longer operating. Skunks.


The Cup Sprites –  It is their habit to get out all the glasses from the cupboard and fill them half way with drinks and place them about the house. These fairies drive Someone bats. I am forever gathering up cups to no avail.  By the way, the sprites have Someone completely fooled; he thinks the half consumed beverages originate from somebody else.


The worse ones are …….


The Laundry Goblins – while your back is turned they go into the dryer and pull out just one sock or a certain handkerchief and run away. When they can’t find items to steal, they shrink T-shirts and trousers.