I like to sit in the hot tub at night. I prefer the seat which faces south, as I can watch the stars slowly go through their predictable paths.  It is a good place for reflection.  Most of the time I merely think about the day and the morrow.  Sometimes I get cosmic thoughts.  Last night it occurred to me I don’t have a vision of my life’s path. I think this is a good thing. let me explain.

In college I had a friend named Chong.  Chong had his life planned out. After undergraduate school, he was going to go to a particular medical school. He was to marry by a certain date -and honeymoon at the Seoul Olympics. He was to have two children, no pets.  It went out to old age; I forget the rest of it. I  was rather impressed at the time, as I could look no further than how to get into any medical school.

I’ve lost track of Chong. I’ve been very curious to find him to see how accurate he was. Is he disappointed? Did he make it all so?  Our lives seldom turn out the way we imagine them.

I remember my first ‘life goals’ were rather ‘should statements’  viz. be married, live in a suburb, be a cardiologist etc. I spent many years trying to achieve this now rather undesirable group of goals; then I spent several years in bereavement as nothing was going as planned.

Thanks to Jungian analysis I was assured –

The Journey of Life is the goal

Life gives us what we need, really.

We get there, despite of ourselves.

So I don’t mind anymore the lack of long term plans.

Sort of.

I think I would like some general vision, such as retirement. Between my age (with its high blood pressure and cholesterol) and the times, I don’t know if anything is assured. Perhaps long term goals are not realistic as when my father was this age.

On my office wall hangs a quote from Alice in Wonderland. Alice has lost her way.

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”

“That depends a great deal on where you want to get to.” said the Cat.

“I don’t much care where -” said Alice.

“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.” said the Cat.

“- so long as I get somewhere” Alice added as an explanation.

“Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said the Cat, “If only you walk long enough.”

Advertisements