Thanks to Facebook, I am getting in touch with old friends, some of them I have not heard from in decades.  In high school I had a close knit church group. It included a brother and sister. They were good friends: I double dated with this woman for the senior prom. And I was fond of her brother, D. She e-mailed me today, to inform me D is dead. D committed suicide. Apparently he was struggling with depression and thoughts of suicide, only to finally succumb. I don’t have details.

I have lost childhood friends from auto accidents, disease, even war casualties, but until now, not by suicide.  How bitter it should happen this week for I was “just about to contact him”, and now it is too late. If I had contacted him earlier, would I have made a difference?

Because I have not seen him in 25 years, it is hard to believe he is gone. D is fixed in my mind as he was: a young man in high school, funny and happy,  and hopeful about the future.

Losing a friend or patient to suicide provokes many emotions for me. I feel gipped. The person gone by suicide was conned by a falsehood suicide is the solution. I feel very bad for my friend and her family. I can think of no greater tragedy for a parent than to watch their children die before them.

When something like this happens, words are lame in useless.  I hope my friend has support and loved ones around her and no one should be alone in this.

Meanwhile, I think of D trying to reconcile the bright young man he was to the figure he became.

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