Have you been recently abducted by aliens but hesitate to share your story because the aliens didn’t subject you to a humiliating physical examination, but instead gave you a great haircut and a complete makeover and you’re afraid no one will believe you?


Call 1-900-SPO-TALK and tell me all about it.


The person with the best tale gets six pro bono sessions of repressed-false memory therapy.


2nd place gets an anal probe.