Have you been recently abducted by aliens but hesitate to share your story because the aliens didn’t subject you to a humiliating physical examination, but instead gave you a great haircut and a complete makeover and you’re afraid no one will believe you?

 

Call 1-900-SPO-TALK and tell me all about it.

 

The person with the best tale gets six pro bono sessions of repressed-false memory therapy.

 

2nd place gets an anal probe.

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