This is for the ladies.

The hirsute type Spo-fans should either come back tomorrow or pay close attention as I am about to ‘spill the beans’ on some male psychology.

Sometimes I am asked by female patients whether or not I think their man is lying to them. I used to think they were asking me as a physician, or as a counselor. It dawned on me they are asking me as a man. They want me to disclose fraternity secrets.  So I thought I would provide a community service.

Here are a few statements all men say – including the good and honest ones – that are rubbish.

“I’m sorry.”

Your man isn’t contrite, he’s confused. They are smart enough (usually) to know they’ve screwed up, but they seldom are clear what they have done wrong. They are clear they are expected to apologize. So they do. Next time this happens to you, ask your man what he’s sorry for. Vague answers reveal he is clueless as to what happened.

“I’m just kidding”

He let out something truthful that got you upset. Now he is doing damage control, passing it off as  joke. “I was totally kidding” – he wasn’t really interested in a having a three way.

“Joe needs to talk”

Pal Joey has never needed to talk. When he announces Joe wants a heart-to-heart, what they are really doing is going out drinking. On the rare occasion Joe does have something to discuss, this conversation will be only minutes long and end with “Hey man, don’t stress about it. Let’s get a beer and watch the game”.

“I’m headed into a tunnel, so we better hang up now”

This doesn’t mean he is bored or doesn’t love you. It means he’s pleased with the deemed completed task at hand. He wants to end on to get onto something else now.

“I love your cat”

The truth is he can’t tolerate the animal given it and he are in competition for your attention. He is playing along to get a little more affection.