I want to knock heads together at work. I made a vow I would never yell at a patient – ever. But from time to time I am tempted to tell a few to get the hell out, especially when they are being stupid or not doing what they promised.

I long to ‘run amok’ in Palm Springs or Fire Island or Provincetown or wherever, so I can a sew a silo-full of wild oats.

At night time, I go back to the same cupboards or the refrigerator, thinking something tasty will appear that wasn’t there a fe minutes ago.

At the gym I forget myself and sing along with the ipod. This is particularly embarrassing when “Material Girl” is playing. I yelp and move along with Madonna. Oh the horror.

Late at night my mind jumps from topic to topic, so fast I think I must be manic.

I fear I am ‘losing it’ as I can’t do the crossword puzzles as fast as I used to do.

I imagine I am a Canadian – I would be honored so.

I eat jalapeno poppers, but never more than once a month.

I catch myself in the mirror and think I really am handsome;

And sometimes I think I am hideous.

I think I should keep more on top of the news, but when I do so it makes me so depressed I stop again.

I think to drop everything and move to the Pacific Northwest before I die.