I don’t usually remember my dreams (worse luck).  Naturally I am eager to ‘latch on to them’ and see what juicy tid-bits The Unconscious sends me. Most of the time my dreams are of little worth. It honks me off my personal unconscious is so insipid.

Recently I had a dream-bit of a conversation with my father. We were discussing ‘where he is going to live’. The dream was apparently set ‘after mother died”. (No, she is not dying – this was a dream).  The discussion was for him to live his children, rotating every few months. It made sense he would live with me in the winter months.  He was reluctant to do this, as he ‘didn’t want to be a burden” etc. I was pointed out he never learned much independent living and he needed someone to care for him.  There I woke up.

“What shall we do with mother? (or father)” is a common question most grown up children have to ask at some time.  This is particularly so when parents are frail or live far away.

My Godfather, a living saint, managed to work and caretake his bed-ridden mother at the same time. How he managed is a mystery, but he did both.  I have a friend who regularly care takes his elderly relatives, but this is his ‘full time job’ as it was.

Curious; is there some evolutionary advantage for having a gay child so they are more available to tend to you in your old age?

“What to do with mother?” is a common problem I see at work. Children with parents with mental illness like Alzheimers or depression wring their hands mother or father won’t let them intervene. Elderly parents don’t want to loose their independency, or reverse roles with their children.

Back to my dream, I think it reflects my anxiety about my parent’s future. My parents are becoming frail. I worry about them, particularly in their two story house; mother can’t manage the stairs anymore. My brothers and I have recommended they sell the house and get something one level and smaller. This is overall poo-pooed. They like their house.

Time will sort this one out. I hope ‘what happens” is more proactive than reactive.

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