How often do married couples fight?

I do not know the answer to this. I grew up in a family that did not fight. Really. My parents never fought. At most my mother would get cross, and father would give her some space for a day. This occurred less often than a blue moon. My brothers and I were actually worried about their lack of friction. Everyone we knew had parents who regularly fought. On a few occasions we tried to set up our parents to ‘go at it’ but they never took the bait.

As a consequence I don’t know how to handle myself in a marital row. When times are tense, I feel like somebody in a boxing ring who hasn’t had the training. I am not talking about physical throw downs; I mean the verbal arguments and the miscommunications; the unintentional hurt feelings, and matters that upset or annoy your spouse and vice versa.  The issues that cause your relationship to come to a grinding halt with tension in the air, sometimes lasting for days.

I am keen to learn how to work through marital frictions other than bewilderment and silent withdrawal.

So, if you are comfortable, please tell me how often fights arise in your relationship. How bad do they get and how are they resolved?

 

Advertisements