On Christmas Day I took a bath.      

The master bathroom has a rather large tub. Filling it requires a great deal of water for it is as deep as the Moscow River.  Water isn’t abundant here in Arizona, so when I want to ‘take a soak’ I use the hot tub for it is water conservation-friendly and instantly available. Last year I realized I haven’t been in the tub since the bathroom was renovated – nearly two years ago! This holiday season I vowed to take a bath.

I got out a large sponge, a bristle brush, and a washcloth. I found some bath gel called “Oak for Men”. I lit some Christmas candles and turned on the taps. Soon I was naked and immersed in the warm sudsy water, letting out little grunts of pleasure. The Eagle has landed.

Harper Hound kept coming in to check on me, apparently puzzled that I, not she, was in the tub. Someone bathes her in this same tub. Harper doesn’t like baths. When she hears the water running she runs and hides. My presence in the tub was bewildering to her.

A young man sings in the bath tub. They sing ‘yah yah yah this is one of the world’s most beautiful bodies”.  An old man like me thinks in the tub, deep thoughts like “I ought to put down some rubber treads”.  The oily bath gel made me very slippery, and I felt like a catfish in Vaseline. Sudden moves causes me to slip back down, sending a wave of water up the opposite side of the tub. There were no spills.

Alas, I forgot to bring along something to read. I thought Someone would assist – or even join me, but he was light years away on the other side of the house, immersed in “Glee”.  I had to ‘just sit’, which for me is no easy task. I had a good wash. Soon I was smelling all over like a wooden chest.

So that was my Christmas treat to myself: a lovely bath. I made a point not to wait another year before having another one.