Today during my morning rituals I realized I dump a lot of glop on myself. I don’t remember when this began. It is one of those slow accumulations you only realize has happened in some sudden insight.  Starting at my head, I have:
Steroid drops to the scalp, for flaking
Eye drops for the allergic rhinitis
Cream for the Spo bags under my eyes
Allergy Rx (steroids) to snort up both nostrils.
Aftershave for those days I trim my whiskers
Cologne (no rubbish)
Lotion on the arms and legs etc.  for the Arizona heat dries us up.

Small wonder Someone taps his last season’s Pradas waiting for me to get to breakfast on time.

All this goop makes me think this is a sign I am in bad shape or I am old or both.  I hope with allergy season passing ~ June, I can widdle this list down to deodorant and some lotion PRN (doc talk for ‘as needed’).  Until then I feel like a walking cosmetic counter.

While I am on the topic, I have troubles finding a good lotion. I never bothered using any until I moved to the Southwest. Most I have tried are either slimy or make me smell like a bordello. Out of whimsy, I recently tried a bottle of daffodil scented lotion, I thought it would be apropos for the season. Alas, it made me smell like an old lady aunt.

Cruising the local pharmacy is of no help. There are countless varieties; how does one choose?  I hesitate asking the girl behind the perfume counter lest we reenact “Summer Rain” from “The Women”.   Right now I have something with a weird combination of sunflower and melon or cucumber with rose or goodness knows what (why oh why the fruit basket?).  Oh well, the point is to stop the dry cracked pained itch, so perhaps I am thinking too much about it.

What I need really is a good oil rub down. I nice and knowledgeable masseur with good strong hands and a bottle of wonder goo I think would do me better than all these drops and gels and lotions.

My eyes would be so much better too for it.