Last weekend while we were making the bed, I inquired how old is the mattress . Someone calculated he purchased it just before he met me, which means the mattress is between 10-15 years old. “Time to get a new mattress” I stated. What for?  It is my understanding mattresses should be replaced every 5-10 years or so. After all we spend a third of our lives on it, and a good night’s sleep is paramount to well being. So why wouldn’t you want a new stiff mattress every 5 years?

Then there was the issue of dust mites. The concept of ten years of dust mite excrement filling up the mattress gives me the heebie-jeebies.  I’ve heard tell mattresses literally double their weight over time from dead mites and their waste products. Oh that’s nasty.

My arguments carried no weight. Someone points out our mattress remains as firm as ever. He doesn’t believe the dust mite theory; it is probably made up by the mattress industry in order to get people to buy mattresses when they don’t really need one.

So I did some research; Someone is correct – again.  Apparently there is no truth to “Your mattress can double in weight due to bed mites”.  It is an urban legend that combines paranoia with mattress  merchant sales pitches. I can sleep with assurance.

It is rather frustrating having a partner who is always right. Happily he doesn’t crow or patronize.

And he always beats me in games of strategy. I keep trying and keep getting skunked – like Charlie Brown going for Lucy’s football.

There are only a few meager area in which I can trump Someone. The main one is with directions. He gets easily confused in the car, while I always know where we are and which way to go.

I also take satisfaction I roll down grass hills with better flair.

I can also name all the monarchs of England in order.


I take my triumphs where I can.