I get invitations to attend medical conferences all the time.  I read them quickly to determine if they are worth my consideration. Most of them (90%) are skimmed in a few seconds and go right into the recycling bin.  First I read the title of the seminar. Second, I look to see where it is located and is it a place I long to see (tax exempt until Mr. Cain is president).  Third is the question when is it and how long does it go.  If the brochure makes it this far in my screening process, I look at the titles of the various lectures and workshops.

I was about to throw out a recent flyer on a weekend long seminar in Nevada when I did a double take.  It didn’t have the usual medical courses such as “Bipolar disorder: an update.” The courses had cryptic but colourful titles such as  “Rolling down grass hills”“How to spank your Inner-Child” and  “Loud screeching and other tips on getting lost”.  I’m paraphrasing, but you get the drift. It seemed a hodgepodge collection of new-agey ideas – in Las Vegas of all things!

Although I have never attended courses quite like this, I think myself open to trying one. The closest I got was last year when a colleague invited me to a three day long seminar at Landmark. She testified the seminar would change my life. At the time I was content with my life, but I wanted to be on good terms with her. From the get go, the whole thing felt like a lure to get me to sign up for more courses. Alas I never got to the rolling down grass hills or loud screeching parts. Truth be told, I never did learn what it as all about, for I came down with a dreadful cold and had to leave. I was too ill to be transformed.

A few friends have suggested I attend The Body Electric. This sounds like Spanking your Inner-Child (and each other). I am in touch with Eros quite enough as it is thank you without whipping it up for a hefty fee (lunch excluded).

My old shrink school in Evanston was/is notorious for all sorts of wacky wonderful courses of the type that would make Carl G. roll in his grave knowing what was being taught as ‘Jungian psychology”.

Truth be told, I am cheap. I don’t want to spend money without getting concrete benefits – or at least CME credits. Alas, I don’t have the time to experience Loud Screeching and Rolling Down Grass Hills courses. I will stick with the oh so practical courses on dementia, depression, substance abuse, and how to spot malingering.

If my Inner Child doesn’t like it, the least it can do is to shut up.

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