Apparently the Muses are away, for I’ve received no inspiration for composition.  This is annoying, for the agreement is if they go on holiday they are supposed to get someone for ‘cover’. Since no one – not even the Skanks – are putting out, I worry the phone is faulty.  Perhaps ‘Call Screening’ is the matter. Most nights we get a few phone calls marked by our telephone as ‘Incoming Call”.  On the assumption it is a telemarketer , we don’t pick up. We hear the caller hang up when they get the recorded greeting.  This may be The Norns, or The Fates, etc. desperately trying to get through to tell me to write about yellow gumdrops or something.

Once in awhile I pick up one of these evening phone calls and invariably it is some fund raiser or charity asking for money. Not too long ago one of these villains got me in a bad mood. When they asked if “Spo” was there, I replied No, he was away.  Later, I felt badly about this. I was not disturbed so much by the lie, but for the vanity. I worried the recipient was thinking Someone had Someone-else at home while I was away, and our reputations were now ruined.  I thought of tracing down the caller and calling back to clarify things, but of course that would expose me as a liar and make me sound nuts as well.  And he would ask again for money, which I would fork over out of guilt.

Once in a while I think a home phone is useless and we should discontinue service. We both have cellphones, and hardly anyone calls our house except the telemarketers. Even the Fates have gone over to texting. It is hard to give up something so integral as a ‘home phone’.  Well, I learned to live without records, paper cheques, and letter writing. I suppose I can go without a land-line.

If you happen to see the Muses, would you be a dear and tell them e-mail me?