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I read a Men’s Magazine article this morning at breakfast titled “50 Manly Thing to do Before you Die”. Most of the ideas were comical, such as “Make your own bow and arrow and use it to catch dinner.” or “Bench Press an RV”.  One goal made me pause as I put another spoon of oatmeal into my mouth**.  This one was “Use your facial hair as a deadly weapon.”

I doubt I will “Work out while skydiving” or “ Do 250 sit-ups while throwing hatchets” but I have nasty facial hair.  In my bow-tie club, they advise “certain weaves should not be used if you have a wicked beard”.  That’s me !

Some fellows when you kiss them have whiskers soft, warm, and remarkable. Mine are like dead grass.  I have naturally curly hair; my whiskers are no exception. My Mother, who does not like my beard, admitted once kissing me is like kissing a Brillo pad.  I used to rub lotion into my whiskers, which softened things up, but I felt like a wet dog.

I don’t recall any fellow wincing and turning away saying ‘Ooh, that smarts!”  I hope the resemblance of my chin to a stiff brush would be more titillating than not, but I am not sure. It would be foolish to stop in the middle of a snog and ask if that was irritating.

Perhaps I should do an experiment (double blind) and go out and kiss as many men as possible. I will survey who cringes and who does not.

Spo-fans: Do you like kissing a fellow with whiskers, and does the length or texture make a difference?  My chiny chin chin wants to know!

**Eating oatmeal was not on the Manly List. 

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July 2012

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