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On the south wall of my office there is a window that gets no beam during the summer time, for then the sun is too high to shine into it. This week at noon there is a sliver of sunshine coming through the pane and down on to the carpet; the sun has lowered on the horizon enough to herald the the arrival of autumn. This triggered my fall melancholia; I feel a bit of it coming on.

Newer Spo-fans may not know I have a variety of “SAD” (Seasonal Affective Disorder). It roughly parrelels hurricane season – later August through mid-October.    I don’t get horribly depressed. Rather I feel a sense of futility and sadness of time passing and the disappointments of my life. I know this well enough not to despair, for it never gets too bad, and it goes away with the approach of Hallowe’en. Some years it is a bitch; other years it ain’t so bad.

 

Curiously, rather than feeling sad about my shortcomings and what I am missing in Life, I am ruminating on house repairs. There are so many things around the house I wish to repair or remedy.  Labor Day weekend is coming up, and I am tempted to do just that viz. work.  I should make a list of things to do and have at it. It is even more curious I should think of working for I am up to my ears (again) with office work. I don’t need ‘more’.  Sometimes it feels work is all I am go for. This is the SAD talking. It does play mind games and clouds my thinking.

 

I’ve not been sleeping well lately (worse luck). Perhaps I will blow off the entire weekend and sleep through it.  I have never done that, other than in severe sickness when I had no choice but to be all day in bed.  It sounds delicious viz. staying put and doing nothing, and letting the world whiz by without me.

 

What I need isn’t sleep or work but a hug, a fun cocktail (no rubbish)  and a few things I won’t write out lest my family is reading this. Shopping is helpful. All my trousers are frayed at the cuffs; it is time to get new khakis.

While I am out  perhaps I should purchase another bottle of bourbon – I am not really drinking them but it is fun to build my collection !

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