Spo-Reflections on Long Term Relationships

Monday is my parent’s 52nd wedding anniversary.  Not only have they managed to stay together for over half a century, they still genuinely love each other.  They’ve had 52 years, 4 sons, 6 grandchildren, and they keep on ticking.  They never had ‘hard times’, and – can you imagine? – they never had a major fight. They are unique. The Spo propensity to mate for life (like pigeons) has been passed down to the four boys, who all seem to be doing well in their marriages.

Despite my upbringing and professional training, it remains a puzzlement and a wonder to me how people do this viz. live together for decades without driving each other to drink or distraction.  You realize after five years together you had better comes to terms with your partner’s idiosyncratic and annoying traits, for they are not going to go away.

Perhaps it was easier when life expectancy was only fifty years; or when laws forbade you from separating.

I think the jury is still out on the ‘success’ of gay couples: will we see more or less long time relationships when compared to straight ones? Perhaps the gay community hasn’t been ‘out long enough’ to determine this. Maybe the comparison is not valid: perhaps we aren’t as ‘married’ to the notion of life long relationships.  It seems I know more gay male couples who are ‘open’ rather than monogamous.  I wonder if openness will ultimately help or hinder long term relationships/marriages.

Darned if I have any answers.

What I do know is my parents are two fortunate people indeed. I wish them a happy anniversary and many more.