Note : The Board of Directors Here at Spo-Reflections asked me to write an introductory note to clarify this entry is jocular and comic.  I argued this is obvious  and to announce to your audience you are about to amuse them is a sure way of failing to do so. Nevertheless the fudey-duddies insist, lest there are e-mails of upset or anger from everyone on earth from Spo-fans to the Government of Mexico. 

At the end of the conga line of Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s comes The Winter Holiday. This has been so since 1990 when I first went to Key West.  Having something scheduled for later January/early February creates anticipatory excitement in the cold, dark Midwestern Januarys.  Usually we go to Key West. Last year we went to Palm Springs. This year DougT of Gossemar Tapestry and his partner Leon A.K.A The Wild One persuaded us to go to Mexico, Puerto Vallarta to be exact.  The trip is six weeks away.

This year I don’t have excitement as much as I have mild trepidation. It is a combination of the unknown and negative clichés.  One can’t live in Arizona without constant headlines from Sheriff Joe of hyperbole about crime and mayhem from Mexico. I suspect it is all rubbish;  our friends who go to PV EVERY YEAR FOR DECADES assure me I won’t be fleeced or have my pockets picked or be mowed down by drug lords.

I wanted to have learned enough Spanish by now to at least communicate basic needs and sound like I am making an effort to speak the lingo.  I don’t know how many lessons I can cram in in six weeks, but I will try. I don’t want to sound like an ugly American who expects nay demands people speak English. I will look pretty ‘ugly’ as it is wearing all my Sp0-shirts.  Might as well put a big fuschia sign around my neck “TOURIST”.

War lords, con artists etc. are probably non-worries, but getting a nasty bug is more likely.  I have bad luck this way. The one time I ventured south of the border (Costa Rica) I was the only Queer in coterie who got sick. I was wiped out for weeks and I dropped 30lb.

My biggest anxiety about PV is getting from the airport to the hotel.  I have visions of being taxied away held hostage until I fork over all my money. DougT (who speaks Spanish) can hold my hand on the way to the hotel. Just get me to the hotel with my crossword puzzles and books and  I will be content for a week.

Marie Curie once said “Nothing in life is to be feared, but understood’. I need to  start researching and getting to know the place  so it is not some nebulous ‘down there’.

On the positive, having no expectations is often better than having any, for there are no disappointments this way.

Oh – another item on the ‘to do’ list is read up and learn about Mescal and Tequila.  I don’t want to drink no rubbish!