I am home.
It was a bittersweet weekend: I went to Spokane, which I haven’t seen since perhaps the late 70s. As I flew away from the place, I had the sensation one gets when you realize you will never see it again. There is no reason now, for Uncle is dead. At his eulogy I saw people and relations whom I haven’t seen in decades. I head many stories, some I did not know (my favorite: every night Uncle Ed called the families of his patients who were in hospital to give them updates on their loved ones).
Funerals make me thoughtful. They make me reflect on Time, Death, and what the heck am I doing with my life anyway. Father was understandably sorrowful at his brother’s funeral. I sensed he was thinking ‘I’m next’. I saw shades of this in his countenance.
On the positive, it was jolly good fun to have two long tables of Spos all talking and bouncing off of each other after the solemnities. I am fortunate to have a large and loving family. We are all squirrels and space-ghosts who blurt over each other’s conversations but it is all loving. In one of the many reminisces I was floored to hear Uncle Ed and I had the nickname “Doc Roc”, spontaneously created on different coasts and in different generations. What an honor to have shared the same nickname, and it lives on with me.
I feel changed somehow, although I haven’t quite analyzed in what ways. I’m too tired to figure it out. I need to go to bed and get back to normalcy. Yet if I have changed somehow, ‘the norm’ can’t be what it was, can it?
I am going to unpack and crawl into my own bed with my dog, whom I missed mightily.
I look forward to catching up this week on my blogs.
See you soon.