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Hello, I am Harper. The Other Dog’s bosses – the grumpy guys with the horns – asked me to write today’s entry.  They said The Other Dog is writing nothing good and may as well use me. I was happy to oblige, especially as there was a bone stipend.

I live in the desert with my master The Friendbeast and his other pet, The Other Dog. My friends Molly and Petey told me it’s good to describe things from a four foot point of view. I don’t have opposable thumbs to type so I am dictating this through the black collar The Other Dog puts on top of  his head and speaks into it. My black collar goes around my neck.

I am working on breaking The Other Dog’s bad behavior of not wanting to go on a daily walk. In the morning he wants to sleep in (in my space!) and in the evening after dinner he sits and stares in front of the flat, square screen that lights up. He seems to enjoy his walks but he hasn’t gotten ‘the hang of it”. I like to stop frequently to sniff things, while he likes to ‘keep going’. At the park I let him off the leash so I can run; he tends to keep walking, staring into that handheld flat screen thing. I don’t know why these two-foots do this when there are rabbits to chase.

I am always happy to see The Friendbeast but sometimes he does things I don’t like. Once a week or so he pushes something across the floor which makes a horrible sound. Sometimes he wants me to go with him into the large puddle in the backyard. Both give me the creeps.

I’ve got The Friendbeast and The Other Dog well trained.  When I tap on the door they get up and open it for me. I go in and out all day when I please. This is always a good when I can think of nothing else to do.  They say I have ‘Lack of Attention Deficit Disorder” but that doesn’t sound as bad as fleas.

 

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The Friendbeast doesn’t ‘put out’ when he is eating. The Other Dog gets dibs on the food; sometimes he passes some on to me. I’ve learned to put my head on his lap and look up with the look I’ve learned from the animal shelter commercials. This almost always works but sometimes I don’t get as much as I want.

Sometimes both of them leave the house and go for a very long walk and they don’t return for hours, but I am always happy to see them return.  After I lick their faces we go to the pantry for my obligatory treat.  So it’s worth the wait.

 

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