The Personal Trainer advised me to eat a lot of eggs in order to put on bulk.  This modest proposal simultaneously conjured horror and exhilaration. It is as if my primary care physician gave me  the green light to eat as many (nasty) chips as I pleased. I love eggs, but they were on the ‘verboten’ list, given my history of high cholesterol. I knew elevated cholesterol has more to do with the amount of saturated fat in one’s diet, but I was dubious to be a guinea pig to uphold the theory.  Trusting he knew what he was doing, I started consuming some nearly every day (along with some egg whites),  served with oatmeal (eat your oatmeal!) to bind and flush out the bad cholesterol.

On a diet of 2-3 eggs/day I’ve managed to cut my total cholesterol from over 300 down to 140.

Poor eggs. They can’t get over their bad press of being ‘high in cholesterol’.   This is too bad, for they are a good source of protein without much fat, and they have good vitamins too boot.  Breakfast isn’t  a proper one unless there is an egg dish with it.

Normally I quickly grow tired of eating the same thing over and over, but happily not so with eggs.  I like them fried, scrambled, hard or soft boiled.  For my morning ablution I use the ‘organic’ brown type of eggs, which have been squeezed out the backside of pesticide free cage free chickens at 3AM by third generation Amish.  Freshly ground pepper is a must; as is some habanero salt to give them a bit of a kick.  Hard boiled eggs made into deviled eggs are my favorite.

Someone doesn’t care for eggs. When we go to a fast food joint he’s the one ordering the breakfast sandwich ‘without egg’.  And he’d sooner eat rats at Tewksbury than a deviled egg.  Sometimes when I whine for him to make me some scramblers I moan ‘Eggs!” ala “Pink Flamingos” using my best Edie Massey voice.  This is ironic for Miss Massey as an actress turns my stomach. **

So all hail the incredible edible egg. I may not have gained much bulk but it is a pleasure feeling guilt-free to consume them.

**We have a recording of Edith M. singing “Big Girls Don’t Cry” which is jolly good fun.