For some time I’ve had a fancy to learn French. If I were to learn a new language I’d be better off learning Spanish, as it would be useful for living where I do. I should concentrate rather on improving my German and/or ASL.  But my reasons for learning French are not logical nor are the practical. French sounds lovely; I melt whenever a Frenchman speaks.  I also have an absurd fantasy to retire to Canada and it’s only polite that I try to learn the language.


I took French in junior high school and I was fairly good at it (I remember I got an A) but that is ancient history and now I could not ask for une crayone or the time of day so I would have to start from scratch.


French intimidates me, nay it gives me a fright. My Nordic tongue seem to balk at wrapping itself around a Romance language. My midwest accent, combined with a mild stutter, easily mangles every word. French I am told holds some sort of record for nuances and has 17 vowel pronunciations (can you imagine?). Once I tried few French words in on a local ami who judged my French tres abominable. When it comes to speaking French I am the equivalent of Florence Foster Jenkins. This is not encouraging.

It doesn’t help the French apparently don’t take kindly to half-baked attempts. You either speak it well or don’t try.

Another hurdle is having no one with whom to converse. I can practice my German with Someone, Brother #3, and a local friend speak. ASL is kept active with a few patients who are deaf. But local Frenchman are are rare as white blackbirds. I suppose I could find a community college class or (better yet) a Frenchman to hire as a tutor (oh la la!).


I fear learning French is another pipe dream, but for the time. Quelle dommage. But it would be jolly good fun to try!