I have a dear chum who sees me as much younger than he although we are not that apart in age. He recently called me a ‘Twink’. This made me pause. I’ve been called a lot of things in my life but “Twink” was a new one. He meant it as a compliment of course, another reference to my alleged youth. I was quick to deny it. I looked at my brindled hirsute 52yo body (which is still overweight). I quickly denied it; I ain’t no Twink. The emotion evoked made me pause to think. I stepped back to analyze why was I having this emotional response. It made it think – what exactly is a ‘Twink”? Do I qualify as such? It is a role I covet?
I consulted a dictionary:
“Twink is a gay slang term describing a young or young-looking man with a slender, ectomorph build, little or no body hair, and no facial hair. In some societies, “chicken” is preferred. The related term implies a man is effeminate; it tends to be used in a derogatory manner. The terms can be complimentary or pejorative.”
I had to admit to myself “Twink” at an emotional level is a negative term. I was defining Twinks as glabrous youngsters with little maturity. Yet if you ask me, I would say Twinks are not ‘bad’ but merely young men, full of energy and hope. They have no body fat and their sex drive is ferocious – enviable traits indeed!
It makes me think. Do “Twink” and “Bear” merely mean young and old gay guys? Does each envy or dislike the other? Are we allies or opponents? Are Twinks merely Bears-in-waiting?
The acid test for my lack of membership to Twink-land is when I am around lads of this sort, I am not considered ‘one of the boys’. I am seen as ‘Daddy” (on a good day) or ‘old fart’ (most days).
As to my chum I say “Well, darling, go on thinking that if it comforts you!” I am no Twink no more no way. But I receive it as a compliment he thinks of me as such. It’s rather sweet. It’s like being carded at the bar: it’s absurd someone thinks I’m that young but the mention is appreciated.
17 comments
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May 25, 2014 at 9:02 AM
larrymuffin
Such deep analysis, me being French such thoughts do not cross my mind. Just enjoy the croissant do not think of the calories is my philosophy of life.
If I like, I like and being full of energy, hope and projects not a bad thing at all, that is what keeps you young Monsieur le docteur.
May 25, 2014 at 9:56 AM
Stan
Sir: You are no twink.
May 25, 2014 at 11:55 AM
jayinva
I love twinks! Mostly in my bed!!!
Peace ❤
Jay
May 25, 2014 at 11:58 AM
Ray
Sir I thought of you as a Daddy type. No Twink Because I am not into Twinks, but more handsome Mature Men. Mature Men Means you have a brain and pubic hair. I think of Mature Men in 40s and above. You are a very Handsome Man. and I would have talk to you at the bar and try to exchange numbers.
May 25, 2014 at 12:32 PM
DG
I have been looking at ageism in the LGBT community for a chapter I am writing on end of life issues for LGBT elders. It is interesting to see how we fit in as we reach our 50’s and beyond. Is it as easy for a twink to be seen with a daddy as it is for a daddy to be seen with a twink? When I think twink, I think under 30. I can remember being under 30, being over 50 has been easier.
May 25, 2014 at 1:42 PM
jason
Craziness!
Perhaps he was asking “would you like a drink?”
Clearly, you must have misheard him.
I prefer to see the glass half full. 🙂
May 25, 2014 at 6:53 PM
Ron
NO WAY JOSE ARE YOU A TWINK. Me thinks the person who referred to you that way is probably a chubby muffin? What you do in a situation like this is to throw the ball right back to him and when he referred to you as a Twink, you should have said “No darling, I’m a chubby chaser. I like you.”
May 25, 2014 at 7:47 PM
Raven~
Agreed, you are no Twink …
I, personally, am leery of the gay taxonomy, because one never knows how the other person in the conversation defines the boxes into which we’re being slotted. But, I can say that I don’t know many people for whom the label “Twink” is anything other than pejorative. (I think it has connotations of “Twit”)
If our friends talk about a young guy, full of life-energy-spunk, and they *like* the young man, they call him a “Cub” or a “Pup,” It’s only if they don’t like him, that they label him a “Twink” … Even if the young man has all the outer characteristics accorded to “Twink,” if they *like* him, they call him something else.
So, “Do “Twink” and “Bear” merely mean young and old gay guys?”
I would answer “No, Twink and Bear describe states of heart/mind as much as they describe physical appearance.” Not all Twinks are young, and I know 18 year old Bear Cubs (some of them are Muscle Cubs). Not all Bears are heavy … not all bears are older.
Does each envy or dislike the other? There is certainly animosity and mutual disdain in some quarters. I don’t think it’s universal.
Are we allies or opponents? Allies at need … but infrequently comrades or chums. As I said above, when heart/mind responds to heart/mind, we find other labels to use 🙂
Are Twinks merely Bears-in-waiting? ummm … No.
May 25, 2014 at 11:32 PM
Raybeard
I find that on certain ‘sites’ (y’know what I mean?) the word ‘twink’ is used as haphazardly, inaccurately and as off-puttingly nearly as much as the word ‘boy’. I sometimes wonder if these two words in particular are used to lure more viewers into a given domain than would otherwise care to investigate. At least the word ‘Daddy’ puts one in no doubt of the subject being described, though from my perspective one sometimes find alarmingly young-looking ‘daddies’ too.
May 26, 2014 at 12:29 AM
the cajun
Twink is a relatively new term, around late 70s disco era and referred to the young 20-somethings into club culture. Their bodies covered with glitter, spangles and sequins – stuck where ever they wanted to get the most attention.
Chicken (at least in my day) referred to youngsters under 18 haunting the gay restaurants and bars looking for an older guy to get them in so they could drink while being protected from harassment. Of course, chicken meant other talents, as well.
May 26, 2014 at 3:42 AM
Blobby
I’ve NEVER considered calling someone a ‘twink’ a compliment.
May 26, 2014 at 3:23 PM
Shawn
Here here Blobby, I also do not think of that term as complimentary.
May 26, 2014 at 6:33 PM
Old Lurker
I don’t know. During the Spo-Shirt charity tour, I seem to recall a certain lifelike dress-up doll that revealed a few twinklike properties:
https://sporeflections.wordpress.com/2011/08/24/7638/
Also: Where is that second picture from? It’s as if Norman Rockwell and Tom of Finland had a love child.
May 26, 2014 at 7:32 PM
larrymuffin
OMG! I had forgotten about this entry.
May 26, 2014 at 9:53 PM
Rick
I’ve never thought of you as a twink.
June 2, 2014 at 2:29 PM
jefferyrn
Did you say Twinkies? Like those. I am so glad they started making them again.
June 3, 2014 at 9:45 AM
Laurent
OMG!!!! what have I started.