It is only the first week in June but Phoenix are already experiencing temperatures well above 100 degrees. Here is some summertime advice for Spo-fans far and near.

Take a nap in a hammock

This means sitting still, not doing anything, and leaving the cellphone indoors.

Drink Windex

My favorite summer cocktail !    Here’s the recipe:

1 ½ ounces tequila
1 ½ ounces rum
1 ½ ounces vodka
1 ½ ounces gin
1 ½ ounces blue curacao
Sour Mix
7-UP

Mix the 5 liquors together over ice into a large Collins glass.  Add a splash of sour mix.  Fill up with 7-up.   Top it off with a slice of lemon and a fro-fro umbrella.

Have sex outdoors

Email me for instructions or for a list of equipment needed or advised.

See the summer stars 

Perhaps you can combine this with the former.

 

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Eat a snow cone

Grape or lemon-lime are best for turning the tongue numb and colorful.

Read a summer book

An actual book, not one of those damn electronic things.  Summer reads should be light and amusing, nothing heavy or lofty – like my men.

 

Skinny dip

Preferably with a group.  Just don’t get sunburned, Nature boys.

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Drink from the garden hose

This is not considered ‘safe’ anymore. It joins the ‘once upon it was fun but now it is dangerous” list with eating raw hamburger or licking the spoon from raw cookie batter. But I say pishposh. Every lovely gulp from the garden hose comes with the redolent of childhood memories. This will do you a lot of good.  Partaking from the garden hose is best concluded with spraying the fellow next in line.

 

Go on a road trip and write a postcard. 

Go on a holiday, and see the sights. Stop at a truck stop and fill up your car with unnecessary plastic objects. Buy a postcard and write ‘Wish you were here etc’ and mail it to your favorite aunt or buddy.

 

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Make sun tea

Get some teabags and remove the labels. Place several in a glass container with a tight lid. Set it out in the sunshine for 6 hours.  This is liquid summer sunshine.

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Shave your head

There is nothing like a close haircut to keep you cool.  “Getting a heinie’  is what Father called these short cuts.

Not only are they refreshing but you can write on your loved ones head using a magic marker.

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