The Board of Directors Here at Spo-Reflections has concerns about this entry. TBDHSR is worried it will be taken seriously and evoke the wrath of “Public Opinion”. I tried to assure them Spo-fans would see it for the satire it is and not become outraged. Nevertheless it was approved only because I promised to tell you it’s a piece of nonsense and I am not a wicked old screw. So there.

Every time I go to the gym I look it over to see if there are any stud-muffins around. A handsome man is someone I can rest my eyes upon between reps. If caught, I can always say I was admiring his technique. But no one asks; where I work out the beautiful men are mostly looking at themselves.  I like to look at good arms and shoulders, but it’s the beautiful backsides that win the awards. They are a heart warming spectacle, particularly if the callipygian owner is doing lying ham curls or squats (front or back).

We are supposed to wear shirts but the men push the limit as to how little they can get by to cover their upper torsos – in contrast to the lower which are under heavy wraps. Perhaps now is as good as any time to concur with Ron I am not fond of bulky workout trousers. I am waiting impatiently for the short-shorts to return.

Sometimes surrounded by beef makes it hard for me to focus on what I am actually supposed to be doing viz. exercising.  I’ve learned which elliptical and stair machines offer the best view of the men bending over or stretch in on the mats. To avoid staring I have my iPhone so it looks like I am reading the new or playing scrabble when in fact I am refraining from taking photos.

The locker room is a disappointment. There is an inverse proportional correlation to whom I want to see running around naked and those who do. The beautiful beaus either don’t use the locker room at all, or change under a towel. The seniors walk around naked, not giving a damn.  The steam room seems to have an unwritten rule you HAVE to be clothed in order to use it.

One can always hope the Gym gods will reward my workout efforts by having my locker coincide with one next to it, whose owner is currently dressing or undressing just when I am there.  This allows for a more detailed inspection. If there is any intercourse it is merely a polite smile, nod of the head, or a comment about the two lockers so close to each other.  Ah well.  Such is the limitations of Peeping Tom-foolery.

Advertisements