I am in Utah, having a wonderful time, and wish you were here etc. We are attending The Utah Shakespeare Festival. I’ve attended splendid productions of “Henry IV part 1” and “Into The Woods”.

Thanks to Someone, I’ve come to appreciate “theatre talks”, which are the pre- or post- theatre seminars where an actor or agent of the theatre company takes audience comments and questions.  I’ve attended many in Stratford and Niagra-on-the-lake and now I’ve seen some in Utah – and the audiences are the same no matter where I go.

Most of the audience questions are thoughtful and are actual questions, but there are always a few with agendas or tangents.  I have yet to attend a theatre talk without one of these four following types standing up and putting on a show. They are the four horseman of the theatre apocalypse.  I’ve given them lovely sobriquets:


“Bill” – This type announces he has been involved in the play himself, usually as an actor or director, adding his credentials and the famous actors he’s known.  This boastful fellow isn’t asking a question: he’s showing off his knowledge for the audience and presenters who are supposed to be impressed and humbled by his expertise.

“Eve” (and her brother “Evan”) lets the presenter know right away she/he is an actor and how thrilled s/he is to see the show and it is a performance like yours which inspires me to go into acting and is there any advice the presenter can give me? (Translation:  I want you to hire me, can I meet you later to give you my resume or sleep with you?)

“Victoria”  (and her brother “Victor”) are usually elderly folk who don’t follow the train of thought of the talk, but say something desultory.  She/he is very eager to have the microphone. Once obtained, he/she states isn’t it nice they have fresh flowers in the flower boxes outside the theatre (when the discussion at hand was the role of revenge in MacBeth) or how nice the actor was in the show she saw last night.

“Rose” is related to Victoria or her friend – they often travel together. She asks questions but these are palpable and a bit simple. For example, today we were hearing a discussion on Twelfth Night.  Her questions are along the line:

– Why is it called Twelfth night?

– What is your favorite role?

– I could tell the twins weren’t the same people so how come Count Orsino couldn’t?

Someone and I would have a run-on bet if we get through a theatre talk without one of these four funnies popping up I would do something . We have both forgot what that something is as so far we’ve never lost.