While pursuing the pages of the bow tie club catalog for the must-have-or-perish items, I discovered a new and amazing service: for a modest fee they will convert my long ties into bow ties. I merely have to pop ’em in the post and lo! a few week later they come back after a metamorphisis into a higher and better state of being: a self-tie bow tie. My eyes widened as if I had encountered a brilliant sunrise. What a great notion! Never one to be patient, I immediate went to the closet to see what was available.
I have a half-dozen or so long ties, which are worn on those occasions when my fingers can’t seem to tie a bow.**  Someone has a drawer full of long ties, which he hasn’t worn in ages.  So there are many choices.  Apotheosis tailoring is possible for all of them, but mind! The patterns best for a bow are small, exquisite, and repetitive (like my men).  Long ties have more florid large patterns. Many of them would not make good bows.  In the end I found 6-8 long ones neither one of us ever wear but if translated would be fab and functional. I must consult Someone though for his blessing. People are funny this way: they haven’t used something in a long while but when you confront them to be rid of said white elephant they bristle with possessive ferocity.


Alas, the bow tie club is closed on Saturdays so there was no one to ask the more pressing question if I sent them cuts of cotton cloth, can these be transformed into a tie?  I have a St. Nick size bag of scraps from years of sewing spo-shirts.  Oh! to have a series of spo-ties!

As I write this it strikes me I could probably make my own ties either from the silk long ones or the cotton scraps. Just what I need: another hobby! I will see what the good folks in Vermont say when I call them next week.



If it is a bust, then you may hear from Urs Truly I’ve embarked on a new mission to convert all to bowtieism.


bowties are cool


** I know six knots, which is a skill quite wasted.  Alas there is only one way to tie a bow tie.