pillowtalkPillowYesterday while making the bed I noticed one of the pillows was in a sorry state of being. “It’s had the course” as Father likes to say about something when said item is worn out and wants replacing. I put the lumpy cernuous thing aside and got out a new one. A pillow case was placed and I thought that’s that. Someone took the pillow and immediately asked what did I do with his favorite pillow. I explained but this only worsened things. I was to retrieve said pillow. It’s back on the bed newly cased but no better. I’ve tried to reason it is hygienic to replace them once in a while, but to no avail.

People get awfully queer about their pillows. I am no exception. I like a pillow that is firm, holds it shape, and has no lumps (like my men). If they start to droop or lumpen I like to get a new one (the pillow, not the men).

In hotel rooms if I discover the pillows are of the soft persuasion I try to push a few together to make ‘one good one’.  As a boy I sometimes saw airplane passengers traveling with a pillow from home, and thought them daft. I now know better.

I also like – nay, require – a pillow between my legs when I sleep. I sleep on my left side; if my knees contact each other they send a electrical current up my spinal cord to the brain to tell it not to go to sleep. So I require two pillows: one for the support of my head, and the other for separating my thighs. The later type of pillow is best if it is very long so I can hold the upper part in my arms.


Sometimes in summer if I am hot I sleep on top of the bed but this makes me feel exposed to the night monsters. A few pillows to cover me (in lieu of a sheet) suffices as armor without being hot.

I have a vague memory from my early youth of putting the pillow tip in my mouth. I am happy to report I no longer bite the pillow.