Picture of missing sock on milk carton.Where on earth are my woolen socks? I can’t find them anywhere. As Luna Lovegood would say: “I suspect Nargles”.

It is the time of year when even we Arizonians have to close the windows and get out the winter clothing.  “Winter clothing” is a bit of a stretch as this entails sweat shirts, a light jacket, flannel sheets (and underwear), and the missing-in-action socks.  Walking around barefoot is a bit uncomfortable due to the chill of the floor.  Alas, I can’t remember where I put them. This is further infuriating as we don’t have a lot of drawers where they can go a-hiding. In my quest I’ve found a sundry of objects I thought discarded or given away but alas no socks.

I am not a clothes horse. Every year I fancy more and more the notion of having a minimal trousseau, mostly to be rid of the clutter. I would like my closet shelves to resemble one of those fancy boutique that seems to have only three purses or three sets of shoes for sale.  On the other hand, I have a dresser drawer over flooring with bow ties and a rack of Spo shirts and this suits me fine. Speaking of suits, I should dust off mine and try them on. Unlike the east coast where suits are seen as proper male attire, the west coast sees a suited fellow as someone stuck in some sort of sales job.  Sports jackets are OK for work, although they are better off on the hanger for display rather than be worn.

I disapprove of slob-attire; I try to dress up whenever I can. Last night we went to our favorite bar after symphony to have a drink waiting for the parking garage to clear.  The waitress remembered us; I asked how on earth did she do so given the myriad of customers she must see. She said we always look dapper and thus are striking.  I worry this is code for ‘two old queens’ but I beg her pardon if I am wrong.

I think I will give to charity any clothes I came across I haven’t worn in a year or forgot was there.  Maybe this is the means to finding the socks: remove the dross and expose the the miscreants.


P.S.  I found the socks. They were on the top shelf of the closet, out of eyesight. I am certain I didn’t put them there, and Someone’s supercilious look conveys he did not put them there either. I suspect Nargles.