I was surfing the internet the other day when I stumbled upon a list of foods to avoid during the holiday season. The author warns me if I don’t abjure from certain holiday foods I will be transformed into a dumpling by New Year’s Eve. Her advice is simultaneously sensible and absurd. Skimming the list, I read the usual suspects: avoid eggnog, cookies, sweets in general, and all liquor.  I was most fascinated by the advice to shun ‘multi-layered cheese dips”. The mind boggles and reels. I can forgo sweets and eggnog and I can lay off the booze. But ‘no cheese at Christmas’ sounds almost radical, like no turkey at Thanksgiving.

Alas, I can’t find the original article to discern what exactly is a ‘multi-layered cheese dip’.  They sound delicious – I use the plural for the list implies there are legions of these dreadful dips. I googled the expression and what mostly comes up are recipes for seven-layered bean dip. These are nasty in themselves but not what the article implied (nor what I covet). I imagine MLCD as something hot, served with nasty chips. They sound quaint, like something out of cookbooks from the late 60s/early 70s. I imagine Better Homes and Gardens had a section for multi-layered cheese dips all to themselves, right after the chapter for fondue and just before the one on jello-molds.

Now I want some.  I have the opposite of ‘having my cake and eating it too’; I am told to avoid something I can’t find. Eating raw vegetables and drinking seltzer doesn’t sound to me a holly jolly Christmas. I plan to have a snort or two and eat my first Christmas pudding.  If anyone knows a recipe for multi-layered cheese dip, please pass it on why don’t you. I will be most grateful.

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