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Someone is ushering this evening at the ballet. It is a tad ironic to be “home alone” on Valentine’s Day (Night, rather). The day and the situation makes me reflect on what it is like being in relationship. I am not often by myself so this allows me to imagine the status of single.

There are some advantages of course. The TV is off and I can play all the tunes which Someone doesn’t like. I spent several hours this evening getting caught up in my reading (blogs and books) and making some shirts without feeling obliged to attend the needs of another person. Being introverted I can crawl into myself (or a good book) quite readily.

On the other hand I have a sense of loneliness. In the movie “The Women” Mrs. Moorehead counsels her daughter “There is nothing like a good dose of being left alone for a man to appreciate his wife”.  My self care drops; without Someone here there seems little point in bothering to get up and go fix a proper meal. My supper got an “N” for nutrition for it consisted of salsa and (nasty) chips with a bit of cheese. The house seems deadly dull and quiet. I wander from room to room looking for something to do. Being Valentine’s Day I feel sheepish to call people up merely to chat and keep company. They are all probably out with their significant others anyway.

In conclusion while most married men fantasize about the ‘gay life of being single’ given a choice (or a taste of it) it feels deficit compared with being with another. Human beings – especially Urs Truly – are remarkably bad at stepping on other’s toes. I don’t listen very well; I blurt; I loose attention. Many times we don’t have the same interests. It drives me bonkers he doesn’t put the keys in the key bowl and his driving comments to other drivers make my eyes cross. I frequently frustrate and disappoint him. But I vote to stay and I count the hours until I go meet up with him this evening.  After his work, we will have a beer at a “show tunes” bar, probably engrossed in our iPhones than in conversation. This isn’t the most lavish way to spend a Valentine’s Day but it will be quite lovely thank you.

Until I have some decent time to write a decent entry, here is one os my favorite poems, apropos for the day…..

Valentine – Carol Ann Duffy

Not a red rose or a satin heart.

I give you an onion.
It is a moon wrapped in brown paper.
It promises light
like the careful undressing of love.

Here.
It will blind you with tears
like a lover.
It will make your reflection
a wobbling photo of grief.

I am trying to be truthful.

Not a cute card or a kissogram.

I give you an onion.
Its fierce kiss will stay on your lips,
possessive and faithful
as we are,
for as long as we are.

Take it.
Its platinum loops shrink to a wedding-ring,
if you like.
Lethal.
Its scent will cling to your fingers,
cling to your knife.

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