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text_message-be-afraid1Spo-fans are an interesting bunch, many of them well over four feet. On the whole they are bright, beautiful, and intelligent (like my men). However, more than a few have weakness in character. Some suffer from satyriasis while others are are easily distracted to dissolute living. Over the years I have taken upon myself to be their beacon of virtue. I am a Jiminy cricket to their Pinnochio. It’s not easy to do. I have to be continuously on guard and anticipate when these lost lemmings are about to go over the cliff. I send them random text messages, succinct but firm extolling them to better living. Picture it: you are a Spo-fan being sorely tempted thinking all is lost when lo! you get a text message like these:

Avoid wickedness

Abjure cards

Shun reprobate living

Beware loose women and social dancing

Abhor vice

Prevent profligate propositions

and

Stop that right now that’s ugly you have no business doing that.  

It is a never-ending job and I don’t have much success, alas. Most of the recusants text me back something bitchy and funny (shocking I know) or tell me to be fruitful and multiply but not using those words. I haven’t received any testimonials (or gratuity) from grateful Spo-fans who were on the brink of salacious activities only to be pulled back by Urs Truly into virtue. I fear many of my readers are what we call in psychiatry Wicked Old Screws, quite happy to be rolling down grass hills. Cast not pearls before swine and this includes intransigent Spo-fans. But I persevere. I do not sleep well knowing some poor sod is getting fuzzled or about to be engaged in sordid social intercourse.

If you are of weak character and need a guiding light or at least discipline please leave a request in the comment section and I will add you to my randomly generated text messaging. I don’t charge anything or then wanting full details of the lurid and licentious activity from which I have rescued you.

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