Mustelids (for thems unfamiliar with the lot) are long sleek furry critters. They are a happy furry family, consisting of ferrets, weasels, otters, and such.*

I have known many in my life, both the four-legged and the two-legged varieties.

I once kissed a skunk. While visiting a national park I met a ranger who had a ‘pet skunk’; tourists could get their photo taken holding it. As I leaned down “Violet’ reached up and gave me a lick. Since then I have been kissed by a several more skunks and not so sweet.

As mustelids go, weasels are long, devious, and tricky, like my men. I’ve dated a few weasels, so I know one when I see one. Someone used to have a boss whom I christened ‘The Sleazy Weasel’. He was well over four feet which is rather large for a weasel.

I come from a family of Wolverines; one of them married a Badger. These two types of mustelids tend to quarrel and become quite fractious during football season.



I am rather fond of Otters, who are lean, furry, cute, and like to hold hands.

Ferrets, skunks, and weasels used to be found congregated in dens such as on Halsted St. in Chicago. Nowadays they are more scattered. They are likely found on line using apps. They are fond of chicken.

If you are interested in locating a mustelid, Wikipedia describe mustelid for you:

“They are typically with short legs, round ears, and thick fur. Most of them are solitary, nocturnal; they have anal scent glands that produce a strong-smelling secretion used for sexual signaling. “

So act accordingly.

Personally I am sticking with bears.


*This includes the honey badger but he don’t care.