sending email fron laptop

sending email fron laptop clipart

Old Lurker (the dear!) recently enquired what salacious text messages go between Someone and Urs Truly.  I am going to gravely disappoint him, Spo-fans, and The Religious Right our texts and emails are about as erotic as the dewy-decimal system.  However what they lack in lasciviousness they sometimes make up in wit.

Here’s some examples of my ersatz-sordid correspondences:

Could you be a muffin and look around the house for me? I’ve forgotten (missing object d’jour). If it isn’t too much a bother could you drop it off on your way to work? You are a dear.

Please don’t get mad but I can’t remember who is supposed to pick up Harper from doggy dare care.  Please text one smile for me; two for you; three if you want me to call you.

I’m forwarding you the group-email from my family. As is their wont they are talking over each other, trying to figure out who is where this holiday.  We should join the imbroglio. Father will insist he or someone will pick us up from the airport but I vote to have our own set of wheels.

Please be a muffin and call the Honda dealer for a check-up. The ‘needs maintenance’ light came on today. Damned if I know what it needs, hopefully nothing complicated.   Keep in mind the intrepid thing is nearing 250K so if the repair sounds costly I vote for euthanasia and a Elantra.

Are we going to pub this evening?  Do I meet you there? I am dying for a drink. 

That telephone message you heard is indeed a patient; I am not dealing drugs on the sly. Give me the number and if he happens to call again tell him to call the office.

We got another telephone message telling us some vague but menacing governmental agency will bring us before a magistrate if we don’t call back the number they left. I defer this to you.  P.S. I didn’t know we had magistrates. 

Yikes! The fewmets have hit the fan! It’s going to be a bumpy flight this afternoon. If I have any neurons left functioning I will go to gym after work but probably only cardio for I am quite whipped.

What’s for dinner?  I don’t have any opinion so you choose. However spaghetti with meat sauce sounds nice and with mushrooms too. 

I just received this email and I haven’t a clue who it is. I don’t think it is a patient, although she sounds a bit histrionic.  She makes no reference to my blog, so I don’t imagine her a Spo-fan.  Perhaps she is an old flame of yours? hohoho  Email me back if you recall her or should I call the police.

and as a bonus –

To The Board of Directors here at Spo-Reflections:

When I told asked you not to fill your emails with rubbish about the blog, I meant of course your bellicose bellows about the number of droppers-by or “how I am doing” compared to last month etc. I can look that stuff up myself.  What I want is artistry feedback on the photos, contents, and prescriptive grammar.  

To the Board etc.:

Listen up, when are you going to come and show me the latest templates? You said Tuesday and here it is Saturday. According to bean-counters I am supposed to change the format (other than the header).  I hope from you soon or never on this topic.

To TBDHSR:

I surmise you all sent the Ravens. The two black birds arrived yesterday and are currently hanging around the backyard, watching, either for surveillance or for a reply.  What am I supposed to do with them?  They are magnificent birds but they are beginning to give me the heebie-jeebies.  Please remember communications are more efficacious through email than passenger pigeons. 🙂