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I am not certain what to do with all the  refrigerator magnets. The old white fridge was bedecked with them. The new refrigerator, so shiny and sophisticated, looks awkward adorned with such. It looks like a woman finally replacing that old dress with an expensive gown and putting back on cheap costume jewelry.  So I took them down – for now. This leaves us with a collection of magnets without a job.

The refrigerator magnets are – were – a bricolage of sentimental and kitsch. Many have trip memories associated with them. A few turn out to be shams. Each of us thought the Felix the Cat magnet was the others precious souvenir of something only to realize in the cross-examination neither one of us knows how the hell it got up there.

Most of our magnets are flat, rectangular, and look like oversized Chiclets with pithy statements on them. One is a drag queen saying “I am fabulous!”; another has a military man telling us he wants YOU (me) for his recruit.

There is a collection of vegetables with happy faces. There used to be more of them, an entire produce section’s worth, but they would fall off and break upon opening the door. Only Eggplant, Tomato, and Green Pepper remain to suggest some sort of vague vegan recipe.

What is ‘right out’ are the faded clippings and receipts that somehow managed to get up on the fridge so long ago they have faded and browned.  There is a New Yorker cartoon ‘Eloise at 46’  “I still live at the Plaza, and I don’t give a damn who owns it”. There is a Vegetarian Times magazine article on what produce is best per month – neither one of us has consulted it in years.

I sheepishly put the lot in a small brown bag and put it in the larder, so they are nearby, lest I have decision-remorse. The new fridge remains shiny, clean, and bereft of ornaments, like my men.

I have a sense of needing a little nonsense. I retrieved the magnet of Dorothy’s ruby slippers and discretely put it on the side out of direct view. You have to be at the sink to see it. After all, we are a couple of OBs (old bachelors); a little fabulousness is allowed.

Spo-fans: is your fridge ‘clean’ or ‘covered’. What’s your favorite magnet?  And do you want a Felix the Cat?

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