Never trust trout.

When in doubt, get horizontal.


When Viking helmets are not assessable or permissible empty cardboard boxes from can be used as a temporary chapeau.

It is a terrible death to be talked to death; pause every once in a while to allow your audience to escape.

Words to say out loud when you need cheering up: gwot, nerdle, and honorificabilitudinitatibus (but get it right).

Push fluids – but apologize if this is done too roughly.

Leos, Cancers, and most Aries are nice old things; please don’t feed them buns and things. Sagittarians are nice; you can trust them. Scorpions are for smashing and thems who say otherwise are itching for a fight.

In spats with your spouse, it is good to remind the other you are not arguing but explaining whey you are right.

With rare exception, pepper improves everything.

I can no longer remember all the names of the seven dwarfs, nor do I wish to. If pressed I can look it up.


On the other hand it is a good thing to have memorized several good poems so when one is needed or apropos you can spontaneously break out into verse to the amazement and entertainment of all. I would avoid Shelly as he tends to be a too exciting and a bit wordy.

Regardless what Charlie Thomas told me in fourth grade, an apple is not fair exchange for a Hershey’s chocolate bar.

Flies buzz in an “F” note; The Orchestra of Scorched Cats nearly always play in E-flat.


No man is an island, but Eugene is a city in Oregon.

Akratoptoes is the roommate or BFF of Dionysus. Mr. A is the ‘drinker of wine, unmixed (with water to dilute it down).”   Try to tell as many people as you can in town.

Urspo’s wicked word of the day: wimbeling (n; old Yorkshire dialect) To busy yourself somewhere when you really should be getting on with something else. Try using it in an e-mail today.