Zombie idea is a quaint descriptive term in Medicine that describes a belief proven wrong but ghost-like it keeps coming back. These ideas refuse to die despite repetitive evidence to show they should be buried and rest in peace. They are like the old man in Monty Python and the Holy Grail who doesn’t want to go on the cart. Unfortunately they are not so easily whacked on the head and be rid of. Some zombie ideas are benign like Vitamin C cures the common cold; some are detrimental like vaccinations cause autism; some are almost amusing such as I am being paid by pharmaceutical industries to push pills.* Perhaps like dandelions zombie ideas can’t be eradicated but merely kept in check when they arise again.

In my personal life I have my own zombie beliefs. Like bad pennies they keep coming back. Happily they are more readily identified no matter what disguise they try to use.   Here’s five to amuse.

I will eat those leftovers.

I hate throwing out food and I am usually guilt-ridden to do so. So I ask the waiter to box up the remains for ‘later’ – which never comes. This also applies to meals cooked at home. After a few days of painful eyecontact with the containers they are tossed out (usually by Someone).  He recognizes this zombie idea usually before I do.  Still there is a slim chance I may eat the leftovers…..

Jalapenos etc.

This zombie idea applies to ‘hot’ ingredients in general. I love them s. Alas, they are not quiet passengers in the Tunnel of Love boat tour that is my digestive system. They rock the boat and shout all the way, making me vow to lay off them. Sometimes this works for up to two weeks between repeats.

Someone will take care of that without me asking.

It’s time to put a big tombstone over this zombie idea. After twenty year of attempts with telepathy have failed to arouse him to spontaneously get up to tidy up or do something or attend to my wants. I have to ask. I guess I am too much a Cancer, who tend to the zombie idea if they truly love us they would know what it is we want and to ask for it diminishes its worth.

Hang on to this; someday I may need this.

I am happy to report this zombie idea is improving. I am more often than not throwing out the brickabracks and paper bags and old books. Next step is larger items like the fondue set, the cookbooks, and all those T-shirts saved for when I am more thin. Yeah, right.

Better buy “X” as I don’t believe we have any.

Picture it: we are walking down an aisle at Albertson’s. I come into contact with the jars of pasta sauce. Like a bull before a flashing cape incarnadine, I say out loud “I think we are out of pasta sauce, we better get some”. Historically I would – only to discover we have 6-8 jars at home.  My exorcism prayer when this zombie idea arises is : “when in doubt, don’t buy it”.  Someone often speaks up before the thoughts are even put into words. “No, we don’t need any pasta sauce”.  He is a dear. Come to think of it, isn’t that a form of telepathy? May be I shouldn’t abandon hope…….


*I am guaranteed at least one email/comment on this along the line “Oh yes they do, you don’t know what you are talking about!” which dovetails into the third mentioned medical belief.