The Board of Directors Here at Spo-Reflections once sent me a list of no-no times to write an entry. They strongly advised I don’t ever write under any of the following conditions:
Sunday evenings.
The eve of going back to work after a holiday.
Temperatures over 40 C
Having ate too much / feeling crapulous.
The Norns are visiting and giving me ‘inspiration’.
Alas, all five provisos have come together this evening like an evil conjunction of planets; I am down in the dumps and disconsolate.
This last weekend for my birthday I had a nice time in Flagstaff, where it was cool and rainy. There were sounds of passing trains and nearby ravens in the pines. It was lovely seeing Brother #2 and family. Tomorrow I return to the banality of work and hot days etc.
I don’t dislike my work but lately I feel it a drag. I do the same thing really, day in and day out. I see new patients; I see returns. I handle crisis and phone calls; I write prescription refills. At 5PM work will end and I will go to the gym and for forty minutes on the elliptical machine – which is what happens every Monday. Driving home I will listen to lectures and podcasts. After supper I will do my homework and read something and then go to bed.
Life feels an adventureless tale.
It would help me having something to look forward. I need to check for certainty but I believe my annual trek to Santa Fe is at the end of the month. Knowing this will give me a small smile of anticipation. But I think Life needs more than some pleasant trips. I feel I need a shakeup of some sorts. A major one.
Most likely things won’t be so dismal after a good night’s sleep back in my bed and my altitude headache/fatigue dissipate.
The Child complex wants Mother to call and tell me everything is going to be all right.
I want a flesh and blood friend with whom to have a pot of tea.
Writing this was helpful. I may not print it, if only to appease The Board from going into hysterics.
Spo-Reflections 
20 comments
July 10, 2017 at 1:42 AM
Kate Warren
“Everything is going to be all right.”
I hope you sleep well tonight. xo
Instead of having new experiences/adventures as your reward are there any achievement type goals you could aim towards – which are stimulating and not tedious; and can be broken down into smaller tasks?
July 10, 2017 at 6:58 AM
Urspo
I slept well, thank you.
I usually nearly always take contentment and satisfaction in the routine.
Only sometimes I want to do otherwise.
July 10, 2017 at 3:00 AM
anne marie in philly
you need a small chocolate cone and a roll down a grassy hill.
July 10, 2017 at 6:59 AM
Urspo
It turns out I needed a good night’s sleep 🙂
July 10, 2017 at 4:04 AM
Todd Gunther
Or for something completely different roll up the hill. That should baffle your ennui, let alone the BoD.
July 10, 2017 at 6:59 AM
Urspo
It is on the bucket list.
July 10, 2017 at 4:35 AM
David
It will all be okay! The French call it the reentry, coming back to normal life and work after a break. You will be fine.
July 10, 2017 at 6:59 AM
Urspo
Of course I will. I am at my work desk at 7AM (as is my wont) and it feels OK
July 10, 2017 at 7:53 AM
Bill M
We all (most of us anyway) have come to know that these things do pass, whether it’s after a good night’s sleep or something else. Here in New England (MA), a bright, cool morning is a remedy for me (I realize you don’t get a lot of those this time of year in AZ). Today was one, so I’m happy and energized 🙂
Nonetheless, thanks for this blog entry. You struck a chord. There are sometimes deeper issues that can’t be cured by just a sound sleep: The routine of work and life, the longing for something different, new, exciting. I’m a year away from retirement; the official departure date is already set in stone. I’m looking forward to it, but I see this next year as basically energy-draining (a “drag,” as you say). And another of your wishes (“a flesh and blood friend with whom to have a pot of tea”) just cut to the core with me. I won’t even start to explain that — maybe I need to set up an appointment with your office 🙂
July 10, 2017 at 7:57 AM
Urspo
thank you Bill M
I am always hesitant to post when I feel down in the dumps, lest people worry I am going off the deep-end or (more neurotic of me) folks wondering – and judging – how on earth does he help others when he is dealing with THIS?
July 10, 2017 at 8:00 AM
Old Lurker
Here is an adventure for you: firing the BoD and replacing it with a group that is more sympathetic. I have heard good things about Scandinavians.
July 10, 2017 at 1:19 PM
Urspo
Oh, I complain about them I know. They are a boisterous lot and a bit too quick to solve problems/work on issues with bloodshed, but they are dears. Please don’t feed them buns and things.
July 10, 2017 at 1:03 PM
Calvin
Thank you for another great blog. It is a huge help for those who wrestle the same demons, Ennui and it’s brother Complacency to know that others are in the same ring. I think it’s the dreaded “Middle Age”. I hear this same issue from most of my friends. I found that volunteering enabled me to meet new people whom I now enjoy many a glass of tea….. [bourbon]. Glad you slept well are are back at the grist mill.
July 10, 2017 at 1:20 PM
Urspo
I am glad you found meaning in the entry.
July 10, 2017 at 5:33 PM
mcpersonalspace54
Your post helped me to appreciate the fact that I have the summers off. Though my paycheck isn’t the greatest, I do appreciate being able to slow down for two months of the year. I have to work tomorrow (a teaching training seminar) and I got that Sunday night feeling that will be here in August. Thanks for helping me to appreciate the fact that I can stop my routine for two months of the year.
July 10, 2017 at 7:56 PM
Urspo
you are a fortunate fellow for having such. Thems in your profession deserve it too.
July 10, 2017 at 7:15 PM
NIFP
Regarding altitude sickness: My partner visited dear friends in Denver last year, and he was told by one of them to start taking a daily aspirin (sadly we can no longer recall the amount, but are leaning towards 81 mg vs. 325 mg) 5-7 days before his flight, continue it while there, and then for another 2-3 days once home. We had never heard of this before, but we asked his PCP, who assured us it worked. And, for him, it did. You might ask your own medico about this regimen. Not sure how effective this will be for him when he next visits, as he has now been prescribed a routine daily 81 mg ASA.
Glad to read from the comments that an embrace by the arms of Morpheus remedied your situation!
July 10, 2017 at 7:55 PM
Urspo
when in doubt: get horizontal – it remains the panacea of all ills.
July 10, 2017 at 9:33 PM
wcs
I have a curious question: do the majority of your patients see you as a prescription dispenser, or do you have a significant number that simply want to talk? I sometimes get the impression that psychiatry today is mostly about drugs as opposed to what I used to think it was all about: talking through issues with someone who could guide, empathize, or simply listen. Of course, having had no experience with psychiatry, I have no basis for my assumptions.
July 11, 2017 at 7:29 AM
Urspo
I shall put the answer in a blog entry
Thank you! You are better than the Norns and Muses together!