You are currently browsing the daily archive for July 12, 2017.

Leaked emails are all the rage these days. In the spirit of the times I  thought I would post some emails before the NYT beats me to it. After all there is nothing so disconcerting as waking up to find your personal life is the lead of the news.

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Sven – My dear Urspo when I told you not to fill your blog with rubbish about your work I meant of course not to write about pills and procedures. What the readers want it filth. Tell them about the patients’ lurid and licentious sex lives. You can make it up, they won’t know.

Bjorn – I have a suggestion. Abjure your habit of using semi-colons. No one uses them; periods work just as well.

Helga “Pippi” Long-stocking – Mein Liebchen! Would you be a Mensch and send me the recipe for ‘Muffins Without Peer’?  I have several bunches of bad bananas and the boys won’t touch them. Danke. On the topic of food.. I  hear you are about to produce a cookbook? What talents you have! I wonder if it is too late to include my famous reindeer casserole. You remember it from Yule parties. It is always a hit and I remember you ate it with relish.  Tchuss!

Snorri Sturlson the 23rd – Ok buster, I’ve traced the cups of half consumed beverages cluttering up the board room to Urs Truly. As they are filled with nasty brown liquids made from dry leaves this could only be yours. J’accuse! as the Gauls say. Tidy this up as soon as possible and I don’t want to hear any more excuses including the one about the cup fairies. They don’t exist.

Slater-Wotan – Say, I got a great idea for the blog. Why don’t you write an entry “Bloggers I’d like to f-ck”?  The stats would soar and the comments would be interesting and besides no one is interested anymore in Walking the Dog.

Oscar ‘Bunny’ Jarl – Spo-man if you are done with the baku would you please pop it in the post?  I hope you haven’t spoiled it too much.

Walter Cnut Fafner– We all want to know when the hell are you going to change your blog’s format. It’s been ten years of the same-old same-old background. After all there is nothing like a new tunic to brighten up your day. I’ve talked with the others and they agree with me you should do something, anything – at least colour the background or use runes.  Just do something. The place looks like a blogger.com discard.  Why can’t you be more like Mitchell is Moving?

Herbert – Jeg nekter å skrive i lav-brow engelsk. Jeg tror kanskje det er på tide å skrive mer om den engelske spise gnagere som ruller og svømme ned gresskledde åser.

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